View Full Version : Job Offer @ PETA?
I received this email from a head hunter a little while ago :D
On 12/11/07, m4arc@xxxxx.com <m4arc@xxxxx.com> wrote:
> No thank you :-)
>
> They wouldn't let me within a mile of that place. They don't eat meat
> and I don't eat vegetables so that wouldn't work out well.
>
> - Marc
>
>
> On 12/11/07, S.K. <sxxxxxh@xxxxxxxx.com> wrote:
> > Marc,
> >
> > This is a position at PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
> >
> > If you are interested, please email your resume and salary requirements to
> > me.
> >
Business_Casual
12-11-07, 07:39
You should show up for the interview and say:
"What? I thought this was 'People for the Eating of Tasty Animals!'" and storm out in a huff. But be carefull not to knock over any weedy staff on your way out, they would probably break.
M_P
You should show up for the interview and say:
"What? I thought this was 'People for the Eating of Tasty Animals!'" and storm out in a huff. But be carefull not to knock over any weedy staff on your way out, they would probably break.
M_P
No effing what am I going any where near that place. Those people are freaks.
Yes, they were a customer of mine several years back.....very weird indeed! You aren't allowed in the building unless you are wearing animal friendly clothes.....no leather(shoes, belt), silk, fur, etc.!
Yes, they were a customer of mine several years back.....very weird indeed! You aren't allowed in the building unless you are wearing animal friendly clothes.....no leather(shoes, belt), silk, fur, etc.!
Wow. If Marc showed up in his fur coat, leather platform shoes, and hat w/ feather, that wouldn't go over too well.
This would actually be a great idea to try and get the job. And then sue them for discrimination if they reject you based on eating meat!
Come on Marc, take one for the team and go work for them!
C4
Just no naked posters, please.:eek:
I never turn down an interview. I'd go in a heartbeat.
I'm with Rob, besides, maybe you could infiltrate the organization and stage a coupe. :D
I'm with Rob, besides, maybe you could infiltrate the organization and stage a coupe. :D
Or a coup even. ;)
coupe
http://www.streetrodz.com/32coup4.jpg
coup
http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/jsi0093l.jpg
The IT community in the area is actually pretty small. I know a couple of people that worked there and believe me, it wouldn't even be worth my time to go there and screw with them.
They are full blown wackos. Remember, this is there "world" headquarters so these are the craziest of the craziest. They don't even allow cars with leather seats in their parking lot.
Go. Find out what their CARRY policy is early in the interview.
carshooter
12-11-07, 13:55
I'd go. Dress low key and carry a brief case.
When you sit down in the interview, act serious about the job.
Then, open up your briefcase as if you're pulling out some important supporting documents and pull out a big, grease dripping double cheeseburger with bacon hanging off of it and start eating it.
A group of peta freaks protest at the NM state capital building almost every week. During one of there protests, My brother and myself sat near them and enjoyed our lunch, which consisted of Carl Jr.s Hamburgers(the Giant ones). They were not happy with us, and one of them asked us to leave. We laughed at them and continued with our lunch.
they used to protest McDonalds in the town where I went to college. The locals would drive by and throw raw ground beef at them.
Good times.
When I get home from work I'll tell you guys a very funny PETA story ;)
Well, PETA isn't too far from Bob's, so that's not too bad.
PETA interviews are one of the best times to put the kydex concealment gear and your Wilderness belt away in lieu of open carry with your fancy tooled elephant leather barbecue rig. Leave the Glock at home and sport the 1911A1 with the nice stag grip panels.
And of course the ostrich and python cowboy boots. You know, something subtle.
You really can't have too much leather sometimes.
I've always wanted to eat a vegetarian. :D
Go. Find out what their CARRY policy is early in the interview.
A little OT: I went to an interview last week at a company where you could not carry while at work but they had an on site CCW course a few months back.
As for peta... I would show up and waste their time and maybe sneek in a McDonald's burger wrapper. Leave it some place where it could be seen...:D
Voodoochild
12-11-07, 19:16
When I get home from work I'll tell you guys a very funny PETA story ;)
Using a work computer for things other than work are we ;)
Joseywales
12-11-07, 21:57
Work there part time as a mole!
I've always wanted to eat a vegetarian. :D
Their not bad!
Remember, once you get past the smell, you know you gotter licked!
Shame on Grandpa Pervy!
Step 1: Go, be serious, get the job.
Step 2: Be very efficient, not over-the top PETA-like, but enough where you fit in about medium. Suggest innovative and positive things. Gain their respect and trust.
Step 3: Create support group meetings for other "like-minded" PETA members at a place not your home (so that your facade is upheld as I assume you are like me and have plenty of things that are "animal hazardous" or whatever.
Step 4: Slowly begin to differ in some minor opinions from the mainstream PETA mindset.
Step 5: Stop having meetings
Step 6: Wait until you are approached by former "meeting" attendee's and asked "what happened", "when is the next meeting".
Step 7: Cull out the ones who you have won over using step 6 and begin your meetings again with this new group. The meetings as before can just be fun stuff like ping-pong, ect. but you should ALWAYS have at least one somewhat weighty discussion wherein you differ more and more from mainstream "PETA" thoughts. You should be subtly undermining their minor points.
Step 8: After getting to know your new group of devotees better, inform them that you feel the need to quit working for PETA due to their belifes, which by now you should have them beliving that PETA is indeed "the bad guy" (in whatever way, doesn't matter, as long as PETA is "the bad guy" somehow). Tell them that you cannot work for a place that supports/encourages *insert PETA position that you and your group have deemed bad here*. Remember, you are now respected and liked as well as valuable to your co-workers and the task you perform as well as I am assuming well-treated/payed ok. You quitting may indeed get them to quit or SERIOUSLY question PETA as well.
Step 9: After you have formed the friendships and they are solid (which, belive it or not you may actually create real friends from this) you should tell them subtly that you did the PETA thing on a dare, but once you got to know them, ect. you really liked them (by now you may like your "cabinet", if not their beliefs) and you stayed on much longer after winning the bet but finally left because you felt "like a liar" and it was against your belifes. They will be angry, you will lose some of them, but in the end, at this point you have a STRONG chance of converting any that stay your friend to your TRUE beliefs. I.E. that beef/leather/whatever is cool, beating animals or hurting them for fun in diabolical ways is bad.
Of course, during your stay at PETA (you may be discovered and terminated at any time, keep in mind) you should subtly plant wrappers from burgerking ect. in co-workers trash-cans.
Tip people off to PETA rallys
Give out co-workers extension numbers and personal e-mail addresses, if not phone numbers.
Dissolve crushed ex-lax tablets in the coffee (TECHINICALLY illegal as it is considering administering medication without license or consent, but noone will bust you I bet).
Fart on the elevator when it is crowded whenever possible, but make sure noone hears it.
Spread false rumors or start them. ex. "Did you hear the janitor found a McDonalds wrapper in Cathy's trash?" (knowing full-well you planted it).
Hide bits of easily concealed meat products such as sausage lings, ect. in co-workers drawers.
(After they catch on that someone is planting stuff, make sure to plant a bit in your cubicle as well).
Anywho, this should have you off to a good start and if you masterplan is side-railed or you are terminated, you still will have stuck many a small barb in their side even if you did not split their work force and steal converts.
Maybe during the interview you'd see one of them eating their Tofu lunch and you could throw soybean oil all over them and claim you're for ending the abuse and exploitation of soybeans.
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