okay, enough with the seriousness and major downers; take a break and show us the funny stuff in life. Keep it clean, hopefully a-political, and something to make another person smile.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-app...ure/9dc9/zoom/
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okay, enough with the seriousness and major downers; take a break and show us the funny stuff in life. Keep it clean, hopefully a-political, and something to make another person smile.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-app...ure/9dc9/zoom/
love it
Speaking of t-shirts, I bought this one for my newest cousin. My brother thought it was hilarious, but the sister-in-law - well, not so much.
http://www.zazzle.com/daddy_drinks_b...07719352244490
I told her she should be happy I did not send this one:
http://www.zazzle.com/they_shake_me_...04283596170217
I heard Chuck Norris could unscramble eggs.
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
https://www.m4carbine.net/picture.ph...&pictureid=264
Rat,
That reminds me of when I was doing a gig up in Nordica (ND). I was between towns and saw something up ahead in the road. It was a road kill badger that was by the side of the road that A.M and someone had pulled it into the center of the road. They added a Cambell's soup can, dark safety glasses and a red and white dowel. As I passed I was laughing so hard I ended up driving off the road. It was priceless.
have to do these from memory, nor can i take credit for them, but i do enjoy them:
Any ship can be a mine sweeper..........once.
Tracer rounds work both ways.
It is not advisable to eject over an area you have just bombed (airforce manual).
Look unimportant.......the enemy may be low on ammo.
If you see the ordinance specialist running...........keep up with him.:eek:
You have to understand that I have this real problem with stray cats...its not something I am really proud of.
I guess that I am just a dog person is all.
https://www.m4carbine.net/picture.ph...&pictureid=265
It's been a few years since I heard this, so I'm going from memory. If anyone has a source for the original recording, it's without doubt the funniest thing I've ever heard.
One night driving home from the range I came across Loveline, a radio call in show for horny teenagers to ask Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla about sex, drugs, etc. The thing that caught my attention and kept me from switching channels was that they announced they were going to play a long segment from the night before because it was so funny and controversial.
The call from the evening before went like this:
A young girl calls the show. She explains that she is a telephone actress and her audience is hanging up on her too soon. After a few questions, it becomes clear that "telephone actress" means phonesex operator and "hanging up" means the guys are climaxing after just a minute or two on the phone with her. Since she is paid by the minute, it's in her best interest to keep them on the line for a while.
So Adam suggests they do a test run to see what the problem is.
- girl: Hello, lover.
- Adam: Hey there sexy. Whatcha wearin'?
- girl: Oh, I'm just lying here on my big bed with the soft satin sheets rubbing against my black thigh highs and tiny little black thong while I play with the strap of my lacy see through bra ... (and so on)
Everyone on the show agrees that she needs to tone it down a bit. So they suggest that she throw in some subliminal cues to keep the guy from warming up too fast.
Of course, the girl has no idea what "subliminal" means so they explain it to her. Then they try again.
- girl: Hello, lover.
- Adam: Hey there sexy. Whatcha wearin'?
- girl: Oh, I'm just lying here on my big bed COLD with the soft satin sheets RELAX rubbing against my black thigh highs DON'T CUM and tiny little black thong while I play RELAX with the strap of my GO SLOW lacy see through bra ...
Luckily at this point everyone on the show is laughing so hard I don't miss anything while trying to recover from swerving across three lanes of highway traffic due to the lack of oxygen in my brain caused by laughing uncontrollably.
So they explain to her that isn't exactly what they mean by subliminal, and one of the hosts says (by way of extreme example) that she just needs to work in something about cancer or the Holocaust as part of her opening act to cool the guy down. Phonesex bunny doesn't know what the Holocaust is, so they explain it to her.
Then they do another test run.
- girl: Hello, lover.
- Adam: Hey there sexy. Whatcha wearin'?
- girl: Oh, I'm just lying here on my big bed, feeling the soft satin sheets rub against my bare skin, (puts on her most sultry to die for voice) while I think about all the Jews killed in the Holocaust ...
I've never laughed so hard in my entire life.
bkb0000,
I used to live in a small town...on the last street before the city limit sign where everyone would go to dump off cats and my backyard was a huge field that stretched well over a mile behind my fenceline. Many calls from me and my neighbors to the local Animal Control went unanswered as it wasn't "POLICY" for them to respond to stray cat complaints.
I decided to take it upon myself to address this problem through the use of a little youth model Marlin .22 rifle and a box of CCI CB Longs.
I knew the neighbors and what pets they had quite well and inside of two months deleted 27 feline intruders from the neighborhood.
One morning I went to my truck to leave for work and found a flyer on my window which looked like a wanted poster. It had my picture on it and said. Wanted ...the Cline Street Sniper.
A so called good friend and neighbor of mine had created it on his PC as a joke....
Thats been more than five years ago now and I have moved into the "Big City" of Springfield Mo...and I have given up the murderous ways of my past. But every once in awhile I find that the index finger of my right hand gets a little itchy when I see those (Scrats) as you call them, running around loose and un-supervised.
I have this T-Shirt I dont wear anymore that I bought out of Varmint Hunters Magazine years ago that says "Take care of your cats or I will take care of them for you."
I share in your struggle bkb0000
http://img165.imageshack.us/img165/4...logybp2ol7.jpg
Please pardon the profanity, some things are best left un-edited...
http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/8186/d132cc7285fh1.jpg
Here’s that love line clip on YouTube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsnaN...eature=related
Speaking of stray cats. When I was at Ft. Bragg we lived in these old WWII barracks and there were cats everywhere. One day I notice the lack of cats and even mentioned it to a friend.
That night we had “rabbit” for dinner in the mess hall. Never had it before or after that.
Just saw this last night on saturday night live, though NSFW because of some borderline lyrics.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...76173507622519
The other day I was reading some threads and came across what I thought was a sig. line.
It was about the 9mm round vs. a .45 A guy got shot with 37 9mm rounds went home took two asprin and went to bed. The other guy got shot in his right pinky with the .45 and it blew his left arm off. Well, something like that.
If anyone has seen it or knows who's sig. line it is, can you post it here?
I would love to answer all these caliber "wars" with that one response and maybe people would see just how ridiculous the entire thought is.
Thanks, newbie BTW great site!
RT
i thought that was BAC's sigline, but he now has no sigline. i could be wrong.
OP, I may need to buy one of those T-shirts.
http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/6...ieldaksxg9.jpg
Those mags are gonna work nice when packed full of mud.
someone doesn't like cats????
http://www.reallyfunnypictures.co.uk.../tenniscat.jpg
and for those that do actually like cats............
http://www.toddmorrison.com/img/feb07/cat_bra.jpg
and that's as close as i'm getting to "off-color" humor.
A forlorn Irishman walks into a pub and starts to drink himself stupid.
The barkeep concerned about the drunk asks him what's wrong.
"What's wrong? you see all those benches out there on the street? The ones everyone in this shithole sits on everyday...well I made those benches, but the don't call me 'Seamus the benchmaker' do they?"
"No that's true" says the barkeep.
"And those lampoles outside, that guides everyone home in the dark...I painted those poles, but they don't call me 'Seamus the pole painter' do they?"
"I suppose not" replies the barkeep.
"But you shag one goat...."
http://pix.motivatedphotos.com/2008/...dedication.jpg
okay, not really something funny, but it's an excellent site to explore. enjoy
http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/archivepix.html
tried to copy the original file but it was being stubborn, so here's what i got.
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
and my favorite one.
13. Potential Murder Suspect
http://florianjensen.com/wp-content/...ical-women.jpg
and yes....i have a bit of time on my hands today lol
and i suppose there are those theorums that define men also
http://www.gamnes.no/bard_new/humour/girls=evil.gif
at the same time, if we substituted "guns" for "girls", at least there would be a defensible definition to label hdr's as evil.
okay dogs, gotta have some more input for the humor, don't be shy.
nevermind