He was a bolt action rifle cultist but I like your response.
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Rhetorical, I assume. But I can testify that Pappabear and I have a good 20 ARs between us that get low volume use (because of our more long range oriented shooting), and almost never see a cleaning.
Over the last 8 or so years, there's been no functional or mechanical issues with no cleaning of slow fired/low fired ARs.
"Cleaning" for me mostly consists of just taking the BCG out, wiping the loose crap off it and re-lubing (I do run my guns a bit wetter than is perhaps necessary). Sometimes the bolt itself gets removed and gets the same treatment, and sometimes not. I will also sometimes swab the chamber out and run an Otis Ripcord down the bore. Overall I've found that the level of thoroughness in my "cleanings" is heavily dependant on how bored I am at the time.
While I had one AR that apparently got dirty enough that when hitting the bolt release the BCG would sometimes be a bit sluggish going into battery I've only ever had one stoppage during firing with an AR that may have been due to the gun being dirty, and I'm not even sure that was the cause as it was just a one-time malfunction.