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Bear Remover........
A man in rural Arkansas wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof.
So he looks in the yellow pages, and sure enough, there's an ad for "Arkansas Bear Removers."
He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.
The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van.
He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean old pit bull.
"What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks...
"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there, and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat.
"When the bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles, and not let go.
"The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."
He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.
"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."
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Did you know....
When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure,
When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure,
When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems,
When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.
Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
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Military vs. Civilian Friends
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Tell you not to do something stupid when drunk. MILITARY FRIENDS: Will secure the perimeter so you don't get caught.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs... MILITARY FRIENDS: Call your parents mom and dad.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home. MILITARY FRIENDS: Know some wild shit WILL happen; set up rally points and an E & E route (Escape and Evade).
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. MILITARY FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, Damn...we f**ked up...but hey, that was fun!" Until the First Sergeant arrives to pick our ass up.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. MILITARY FRIENDS: Steal each others stuff so often nobody remembers who bought it in the first place.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will listen to your relationship problems and hope it works out for you. MILITARY FRIENDS: Will listen to you over a long hard road march, and will help you straighten it out better than Dr. Phil.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. MILITARY FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Might try to hit on your girl behind your back. MILITARY FRIENDS: Have spooned with you in the field more than your girl has, would never even think about doing that and would murder anyone who tried.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Would knock on your door. MILITARY FRIENDS: Have lived less than a foot away for the past 9 months, walk right in and say, "I'm home!"
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Wish you had enough money to go out that night, and are sorry you couldn't come. MILITARY FRIENDS: Will share their last dollar with you, drag you along, and try to work free drinks all night.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Want the money they loaned you back next week. MILITARY FRIENDS: Can't begin to remember who owes who money after taking care of each other for so long.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will tell you "They'd take a bullet for you." MILITARY FRIENDS: Will actually take a bullet for you.
S.M.
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and while I cannot take credit for these videos, they are funny (to me atleast). This is a well known "street personality" in Atl..., yes Mr. T-Rex dancer himself....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FWktrMmOj8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7Go6...eature=related
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Good thread - many a post here has made me laugh :) so thanks guys!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXHaC...e_gdata_player
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HE'S REAL!!!
http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/9...muckatelli.jpg
If the trend remains true, we also know what his girlfriend's name is.....