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Thread: The BATFEN 2044 Firearm Purchase Program...

  1. #1
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    The BATFEN 2044 Firearm Purchase Program...

    Originally posted TOS 7/29/2004 12:07:54 AM EST

    Welcome to the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, Explosives and Narcotics Firearm Purchase Program.

    Since becoming the exclusive distributor of firearms in the United States in 2018 and in accordance with our continued commitment to the second amendment rights of qualified citizens* the BATFEN is again offering firearms for purchase to eligible buyers.


    *All potential purchasers must have a current, valid Federal Firearm Purchase permit complete with current FBI/BATFEN records search, State Firearm Purchase ID, BATFEN approved firearms storage unit and proof of current Firearm Owner Insurance Policy.

    SPORTING FIREARMS:

    Remington SPORT Shotgun - The famous Remington pump action shotgun patterned after the legendary 870 in BLAZE ORANGE with a 2 shot magazine capacity especially designed and approved for sport shooting events and legal hunting. Available in 12 ga. and 20 ga. Legal in most states. 4,000 available for $975.00 each.

    Remington DEFENSE Shotgun - For those states where defensive firearms are permitted we offer this model based upon the Remington SPORT in DEFENSE BLUE with a full 3 shot magazine capacity. Available in 12 ga. and 20 ga. Requires completion of BATFEN "Rules and Regulations for Defensive Firearm Ownership" course. 1,500 available for $975.00 each.

    Ammunition for the above available in lots of 100 for $250.00. All cartidges are individually serial numbered and registered to purchaser. All spent casings must be returned (including logs of discharge) to be eligible for replacement ammunition.

    Remington HUNTING Rifle - The premier hunting arm in the world based upon the legendary 700 rifle. This single shot .243 is the ONLY rifle currently produced for civilian sales. Available in classic blue metal with wood stock for all approved (requires current hunting license for eligible purchase) hunting events. Faetures a powerful non removeable 6x sporting scope serial numbered to the firearm. Legal only in states that permit rifle hunting. 1,000 available for $2,500 each.

    Ammunition for the above available in lots of 50 for $500.00. All cartidges are individually serial numbered and registered to purchaser. All spent casings must be returned (including logs of discharge) to be eligible for replacement ammunition.

    COLLECTOR FIREARMS:

    The following are available ONLY to those individuals who qualify to purchase SPORTING FIREARMS and have a current Firearm Collectors License, State Collectors License who have completed the BATFEN "Collector Firearms Liabilty" course and have proof of Collector Firearms Insurance.

    DEWATTS:

    These firearms have had the fring pins removed, bolt faces milled flush and chambers welded so ammunition cannot be loaded. These were original assault weapons back in the days when they were legal. Come with one high capacity BLOCKED magazine. Look and feel just like the original killing machines of the 20th century. Marked "DEWATT" on receiver.

    AK47 (Romanian) - The most notorious of all the assault weapons. Own the rifle that inspired the need for modern firearms regulation. 100 reconditioned rifles available to qualified collectors for $3,000 each.

    AR15 - The deadly rifle of the 2002 Sniper Killings. A favorite alternative for terrorists who could not obtain the AK47. 100 reconditioned rifles available to qualified collectors for $4,500 each.

    No ammunition is available for the above with the banning of military cartridges for civilian ownership. It is not legal to convert DEWATTS into functional firearms capable of chambering SPORTING ammunition. Owners of DEWATT firerams are subject to periodic inspections of compliance.

    LIVE FIREARMS:

    Chinese SKS - This is a functional, original firearm in 65% (BATFEN Grade) condition. 3 available for $12,500 each.

    AR15 - We actually found one in BATFEN evidence vaults that had escaped the 2021 Presidential Order for destruction of ALL US made copies of military rifles. While many were legally converted to DEWATTS this is the only known FUNCTIONAL RIFLE still in existence. With the expiration of the Presidential Destruction Order this one becomes LEGAL for civilian ownership.

    Rifle is a Olympic Arms 20" Standard model in military 5.56 and comes with one fully functional 30 round magazine serial numbered to the rifle. It is in 75% (BATFEN Grade) condition and will be made available for 12 hour auction to qualified buyers. Bidding price to begin at $35,000.

    No ammunition is available for the above with the banning of military cartridges for civilian ownership. It is not legal to convert military chamber firearms into firearms capable of chambering SPORTING ammunition. Owners of military chamber firearms are subject to periodic inspections of compliance.

    NFA FIREARMS:

    As several registered NFA weapons were not US made copies if military rifles many of these escaped the 2021 PDO and are still eligible for purchase and ownership. In addition to all above sporting and collector firearms requirements these are subject to additional NFA regulations and requirements.

    We have 3 NFA weapons available for this Purchase Program.

    1. FN FNC - A rather obscure military chamber rifle which is the epitomy of an assault weapon. Fully functional and full automatic. Incredible in 85% (BATFEN Grade) condition and priced at $72,000.

    2. HK MP5 - While most of these were destroyed on the grounds that the sear was US made several managed to remain hidden during the 2021 PDO and later resurfaced. 35% (BATFEN Grade) condition and priced at $69,000.

    No ammunition is available for the above with the banning of military cartridges for civilian ownership. It is not legal to convert military chamber firearms into firearms capable of chambering SPORTING ammunition. Owners of military chamber firearms are subject to periodic inspections of compliance.

    3. Steyr-Solothurn MP34 - Museum Sale offered on the private market by a museum that could no longer afford firearms insurance. Not only is this a fully functional NFA weapon, it is chambered in 9x23mm Steyr which is not regulated under the military chamber restrictions law. This means it is legal to own, possess ammo and shoot. A lot of 50 rounds of serial numbered ammunition is included with BATFEN authorization to obtain reloads in compliance with Ammunition regulation laws. Actually own and shoot a functional machine gun. 65% (BATFEN Grade) condition and a incredible deal at $250,000. Legal in all 12 NFA States.
    It's hard to be a ACLU hating, philosophically Libertarian, socially liberal, fiscally conservative, scientifically grounded, agnostic, porn admiring gun owner who believes in self determination.

    Chuck, we miss ya man.

    كافر

  2. #2
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    Ha Ha Ha. Crazy shit. Would offer additional comments but pretty busy digging holes while the ground is unfrozen.

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    Panic harder

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    Quote Originally Posted by theblackknight View Post
    Panic harder
    This was written during the Clinton Ban, we were pretty panicked.
    It's hard to be a ACLU hating, philosophically Libertarian, socially liberal, fiscally conservative, scientifically grounded, agnostic, porn admiring gun owner who believes in self determination.

    Chuck, we miss ya man.

    كافر

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    This made my heart sad.

  6. #6
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    So I wrote this 16 years ago. Are we getting closer to this or making sure this never happens?
    It's hard to be a ACLU hating, philosophically Libertarian, socially liberal, fiscally conservative, scientifically grounded, agnostic, porn admiring gun owner who believes in self determination.

    Chuck, we miss ya man.

    كافر

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