Why is it so HARD!!!!!

[markm]

Why is it so dang hard to teach your wife how to properly shoot a handgun

It's the same reason they can't drive.

Oops... I mean most women don't have the same primal DRIVE to learn how to fight well. That's what I meant to say.

[ToddG]

As others have said, teaching a close relative, especially your spouse, how to shoot is fraught with danger. It has absolutely nothing to do with her or you, it has to do with the way couples tend to interact.

Speaking in generalities:

• Wives who are dragged into shooting by husbands are not necessarily interested, or as interested, as their husbands to begin with.
• Wives do not want to make mistakes or look stupid in front of their husbands. Thus, they try to hard.
• Husbands expect their wives not only to pay attention to every word we speak, but we expect them to understand, process, absorb, and follow every instruction perfectly the first time.
• Husbands are more likely to criticize or use harsh language with their wives than with a "generic" student.
• So when something doesn't go perfectly, she feels like she's failed and he can't believe she's not doing it right.

Like I said, it's a generality but I've seen it many times. I've actually had to separate couples in classes. One guy I remember very clearly kept talking to his wife after each teaching point, "explaining" it to her. She was a soup sandwich. After the two were separated -- over his objections but much to her relief -- she suddenly learned how to shoot.

If your wife has the time, money, and interest to become serious about shooting, send me a PM. There is a "Lady's Camp" put on by my friend Julie Goloski and some other world-class female shooters a few times per year. I've spoken to many of their students and every one of them was absolutely thrilled by the instruction, motivated to keep shooting, and genuinely more skilled.

[ARin]

wives have a "stop telling me what to do" attitude with their husbands.

makes them unteachable.

get her with an instructor, and it will be like night and day.

[ThirdWatcher]

how are you teaching her? my wife had never seen a gun in person until she met me. I taught her the fundamentals of grip, sight alignment/picture, trigger press, etc with an airsoft gun. Then I let her use a .22 pistol. By that point she was very comfortable and doing well accuracy-wise, so I moved her up to a 9mm.

This is the approach I took when teaching my daughters how to shoot. The worst thing you can do is start a new shooter with something that kicks hard. The downside to teaching them to shoot is I keep giving my guns away (to them). (In fact, I am now M4less, a temporary state, I assure you.)

Perhaps we need more female firearms instructors.

[TheGhostRider]

wives have a "stop telling me what to do" attitude with their husbands.

makes them unteachable.

get her with an instructor, and it will be like night and day.

100% accurate.
My wife is a good shooter. Not great....... good.
Trying to instruct her is......... painful.

She doesn't tolerate criticism from me even when it's applied in a constructive fashion.
But an outside instructor is ok.

I believe that most women take instruction from a neutral party much better than from someone they know. The pressure of trying to impress her hubby without showing weakness tends to make her self conscious, which creates a conflict of emotions. Once this happens the learning stops and quite often a mental block takes place preventing the learning process.

[johnson601]

I had this same problem with my wife, she couldn't hit sh#t! Then a friend of mine went shooting with us and he said "you know that she is left eye dominant right?".... Solved all of our problems. If you are like me, I just expected her to do what I said. I think we over-look small things when it is a loved one.

[CarlosDJackal]

When I teach basic Pistol courses I usually make it a point to try and separate couples. This was we avoid what you are talking about.

I've also noticed that about 80% of the women I've taught are cross-dominant. Go figure!!

[blackscot]

My wife is very good with basic accuracy, i.e. getting a good sight picture and putting the hole where it is needed. Until recently though, she was awful with overall handling of the gun. Would not get the backstrap deeply seated in the web of the hand, but instead would keep hiking the gun up with the heel of the butt in the pit of her palm. Although she only shoots with me 1-2 times a year, this went on for years.

For some reason though, the last couple of times out she started actually getting it. I just made a brief mention starting out as to correct grip, which she right away took and maintained throughout the session. Improvement was marked. Came back a month or so later and she picked it right back up.

Trying to figure -- why now? We both turned 50 within the past few months, and she is now well into "the change". Could that be it? Does the child-bearing capability impose some kind of genetic incompatibility with guns? Then as they get beyond that, they can become the kind of cold-hearted killers that men are all along ! ! !

[MX5]

I've been a firearms instructor for many years. Some time ago, over a 6 year period, I volunteered my services 2-3 times a year as a guest instructor for a women's only class of handgun self-defense. In discussions with John & Vicki Farnam, we came to the same conclusion: women are hard-wired differently & respond better to female instruction. Spouses are usually the worst choice for instruction, regardless of the subject matter. It's better to have another professional teach your spouse with you not even attending the classes. If you insist on being present, it's best to keep it zipped & have no opinion - both during training & later.