This is a confusing topic, in which I find even many very experienced shooters and experienced instructors, some at very high levels, who really don't understand or distinguish between the two. Which means that the standard fixes used for the "flinch" will more than likely do little to nothing for the issue.
Yes, I tend to avoid the percentage game. If a shooter is truly still unsure after having gone through my grip presentation, I will give them practical, or their hands on the weapon, exercises that will show them the feel on the grip / weapon that I am suggesting.
As for good instruction there are a lot of good instructors out there, but a handful of really great instructors. The majority of any quality instructor / organization will generally be very similar in the base foundations of shooting / marksmanship and indeed "cross pollination" as you mention is high. They may sound like parrots in the techniques / methods presented, which is not necessarily a bad thing, it just shows that foundation is foundation. It is often the method in which the material is presented in a manner that captivates the students ability to absorb and understand it. Personality of the instructor and teaching style go a long way here since the material is essentially time tested and similar in its foundation.
Now as the student base advances and keeping in mind the instructors charisma to captivate his audience and the ability to effectively "teach" is important however IMO an instructors true "worth" is not just being able to generically go off of a "lesson plan" and effectively present scripted material, but rather to have the knowledge and ability to identify, trouble shoot and have an effective way of fixing the fine nuances of the shooter at a truly expert level. If you travel around "the training circuit" as I call it as an advanced shooter, it is easy to recognize which instructors truly understand the fine detail concepts, can apply them in their own shooting, but perhaps more importantly have the ability to translate or teach that into their student base. The big thing here is that most of the students attending these courses range from a beginner to maybe advanced levels. There are few truly expert level shooters, so pretty much most advanced instructors may seem like a genius to their student base. Because the technical knowledge of the instructor is at a high enough level to teach 99% of the student base in their courses, this is where personality / charisma of the instructor come heavily into play and this is where you start seeing "student followings" to their own Sensei. Very similar to any martial type of art. This is not meant to be negative, just a reality in general.
Finding a happy medium for the individual is key. Some who are larger, more grip strength etc, might get away with something that another shooter may not. Being able to understand or identify when those techniques are being detrimental to your overall performance is key.
As for tips, that is something you need to play with. Some like more extension with the arms, because they eat up the recoil with their size / strength and some might use more flex in the elbows to help absorb shock with a more outstretched stand with more forward body lean. The key here is to get your base (lower body) set up well and attempt to keep the upper body a bit more relaxed. Again much of this is shooter dependent and without really being able to be present, it is hard for me to give more specific advice. The main thing is that when you are feeling overly "tensed up" in the upper body, traps, delts, upper back, neck, upper arms. Take a break from live fire, relax, breathe, walk it off, come back and shoot half a mag to a full mag for a simple one hole drill keeping in mind to be more upright and relaxed. People are often much more relaxed when shooting a simple marksmanship type drill. This will be self checking reminder of how your upper body should feel.



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