How do you control your temper?

[Eurodriver]

This isn't really asking how society says we should avoid confrontation but how *you* avoid it.

As a gun owner, I find myself much less willing to participate in, let alone initiate, a confrontation. I am a rational, law abiding person who can recognize a bad situation and eject from it quickly. But like anyone, I have my limits.

When someone proverbially pushes your buttons (but not to the point of threatening you) how do you handle it?

[Safetyhit]

Coming from a long line of Italians with bad tempers and having had one myself for too long, I've learned especially as a father that I have too much to lose to allow my temper to destroy my relationships or life in general.

[montanadave]

I breathe. As in a very conscious effort to step back, focus on my breath, and take 5 or 10 deep inhalations, using an "in through the mouth, out through the nose" technique, while telling myself to "chill out" or, failing that, "**** the ****ing ****ers!"

That's more just dealing with life's frustrations. As for actual "in your face"-type confrontations, I haven't had one in ten years. I avoid them like the plague. If I'm attempting to resolve some sort of issue and the other party starts to escalate towards conflict, I just walk away and figure out a Plan B, because I'm too old and have too much to lose by getting in a knock-down drag-out with some hot head.

[Safetyhit]

If I'm attempting to resolve some sort of issue and the other party starts to escalate towards conflict, I just walk away and figure out a Plan B, because I'm too old and have too much to lose by getting in a knock-down drag-out with some hot head.

Dealing with unruly strangers is one certain pitfall of a bad temper, but the even bigger peril is the pain a temper can inflict on those you love. I have permanent scars because of things my father did when I was young and now one of my primary missions in life is to make sure I don't fail my son the same way my father failed us. And I won't.

[Airhasz]

I drop the issue, head to the woods and do mag dumps.

[montanadave]

Dealing with unruly strangers is one certain pitfall of a bad temper, but the even bigger peril is the pain a temper can inflict on those you love. I have permanent scars because of things my father did when I was young and now one of my primary missions in life is to make sure I don't fail my son the same way my father failed us. And I won't.

Happy to read you have the ability to recognize those potential flaws in your own character and break the cycle. Too many don't and the behavior just perpetuates from one generation to the next. When your son is old enough to hear the stories, I hope you can tell him about your painful experiences with your dad so, while the behavior is extinguished, the lessons aren't lost.

[Phillygunguy]

I got a hot temper too Half Italian, half Irish and I can be a lit fuse. I was much worse when I was younger, Not that I went around looking for trouble, but If someone pissed me off I would not hesitate to let them know.
Now that Im getting older at 46 I still think about what Id like to do to people who piss me off, but do not act on them.
I also vent a lot

[Safetyhit]

I got a hot temper too Half Italian, half Irish and I can be a lit fuse. I was much worse when I was younger, Not that I went around looking for trouble, but If someone pissed me off I would not hesitate to let them know.

It is really hard to believe such an individual from across the bridge could possibly possess this sort of mentality.

Also thanks to MontanaDave for the comment above. Only said it because I know we're a fairly tight-knit group and if even one dad or individual here can relate somehow and thinks about it even a little today then it was worth posting no matter any other perceptions.

[Failure2Stop]

If the bullets aren't cracking past you and the big booms aren't within ECR, it ain't that big of a deal.
There is more to this world than little old you.
If it isn't a threat to my loved ones, I am not going to lose control and put them in a bad position by depriving them of my support.

Be selfless and humble and there is very little to get worked up about.
Remove Ego, gain perspective.

Zen.

[Abraham]

Handling your temper gets easier as you age.

However, even now I can go from zero to sixty if someone does something like almost hit me with their car as I'm walking in a parking lot to get to my vehicle.

This happened a few years back. An old guy was driving far too fast in grocery store parking lot, swerved right at me, making me have to jump to get out of his way or get hit.

I bellowed a few startled cuss words in his direction and he stomped on the brakes, stopped, started acting righteously indignant about my choice of words. At this point, I saw no further use in exchanging words. I'd stopped being angry realizing I hadn't been hit and realized he was so old there was nothing I could say that would improve things. His vision/reflexes were undoubtedly shot and he was in denial...nothing more I could do.

At that point I actually felt sorry for him. He shouldn't be driving, he's a menace, but I'm not in law enforcement.