Cause for concern at gym?

[sadmin]

A somewhat odd situation is brewing at my rec center. I go to a public gym downtown in a church, which has your run of the mill characters since they don’t turn anyone away if they need a shower or place to get out of the heat. Well there is this one dude who has been showing up who is making my internal alarm go off, but at the same time, I don’t want to be prejudice.

He mostly just loiters and says strange things, will try to wrap you up in a conversation about anything. I was polite the first time last week and entertained his stories until I could get my headphones in. Well Tuesday, he and I are the only ones in there and he is acting odd, staring at the floor on a machine and then falls asleep on the ab bench. He wakes up and asks me if I use the sauna. I say no, he says well do you use the Jacuzzi? I say no, but if your wondering if they are clean, they clean them bi-weekly. He says ok. My spidey sense tingled a bit but whatever. Well eventually I have to go shower and no sooner am I in there, he pops in. To say hes comfortable with his nudity is an understatement. It was almost blatant, scratching himself and chatting it up. I talked about my wife and got out of there. He followed me out and just would.not.get.dressed. At all. Hes a built dude too, if I was a young kid I would be intimidated. Well then it gets strange(er). He asks me when I graduated HS and I told him ’97, he said me too, we are the same age. Yadda Yadda I leave.

I get back to the office and search for him in the Smith County judicial site, and he has a record (dwi, revoked, failed to pay child support) and is 11 years older than me. Why would he lie?

Today again, we are the only ones there and hes again staring at the floor mumbling something. As I walk by he says, “sucks being bi-polar.” I said, sorry man, hang in there. He just smiled at me. I waited for him to leave and asked this other guy who showed up whats the deal with him. He says his dad is some multi-millionaire doctor but hes (the overtly naked dude) been written off and has been cracked out since the 2000s and lives at the Salvation Army.

So. TL;DR – should I carry while I work out or am I just being paranoid due to the recent mental health related situations? Should I notify someone at the church? I feel like I cant wear my headphones and work out without always keeping an eye on his location in the gym. Something about him rubs me the wrong way.

[J-Dub]

Wow. I think I'd find a new gym.

Ya I would watch my 6 around the guy for sure.

[Phillygunguy]

Id find a new gym too. Bipolar people can have extreme mood swings, and can become very manic, think they are on top of the world, do stupid shit and not take responsibility for it. worse if they have schizophrenia on top of it. Im not trying to insult anyone who maybe Bipolar or know someone who is but if you insist on going there Id carry. best to find another gym.

[markm]

and is 11 years older than me. Why would he lie?

He just assumed you took 15 years to finish High School too.

[ST911]

Notify management...in writing.

Find a new place to go.

[yellowfin]

A Kahr 380, LC380, or KelTec in a belly band or armband would be perfect for just such occasions.

[Watrdawg]

Notify management...in writing.

Find a new place to go.

Definitely this

[Doc Safari]

Something about him rubs me the wrong way.

Sorry to make light of your situation, but that has got to be the funniest Freudian slip I have ever heard in my life. I about ruptured a kidney laughing at that one.



Look....I worked for a state prison for 8 years and the guy is doing some classic inmate moves. Chat you up, make you think he's your compadre or something, then either try to get you to do something or whatever.

The fact that he lied about his age--something that in my experience no man ever has a need to lie to another man about unless they are challenging each other--makes my red lights go off that he is fishing for some sort of same-sex contact. The other behavior he exhibits certainly supports this.

You are right to be paranoid.

People like him, in my experience, are also quick to retaliate if you "call them out" or report them.

Unfortunately, the only way this situation gets better is for either you or him to go somewhere else.

If he goes somewhere else, it would be better if he did not suspect that you are the one who made it happen. I don't know how deeply you looked into his background but MY "spidey" sense tells me he's done time, possibly under another name or in another jurisdiction and you somehow missed it, either because the site you searched has incomplete records or you didn't dig deeply enough.

Definitely NEVER let him know where you live or let him follow you home. If I were you, I'd start going to another gym YESTERDAY and never set foot in your current gym again.

[sadmin]

Gotcha.. Sucks though, it's 4 blocks from my office and free. He does chat me up for sure on some random crap like "I like your shoes, were they expensive?" or my favorite so far, "do you like to dive, I dive a lot" (on other dudes apparently) or he's going to turn me into a lampshade and throw my remains in the lake.

And yes, some phrasing going on, I figured the "he's built" would trigger a response after I spoke of the shower incident.

The bi-polar admittance threw me today, I actually felt nervous in there.


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[Doc Safari]

Gotcha.. Sucks though, it's 4 blocks from my office and free. He does chat me up for sure on some random crap like "I like your shoes, were they expensive?" or my favorite so far, "do you like to dive, I dive a lot" (on other dudes apparently) or he's going to turn me into a lampshade and throw my remains in the lake.

Convicts do stuff like this, fishing for ways to "relate" to you so that your guard goes down and they can eventually get what they want from you.


On questions like "where do you live" or "do you like sushi" or something they are trying to establish a bogus rapport, so that you are their "buddy" when they need whatever it is they are after.

The cure for this "fishing" if you are around a bunch of inmates, is to tell one inmate one thing and other inmates different stories. That way they will get the idea that this fishing technique is just going to garner bullshit answers from you. I know that doesn't really apply in your situation, but for the interest of everyone else the only cure for someone fishing for info is to know that they are going to get false info. (Telling them 'Nunya' usually doesn't work because they will just keep asking hoping to wear you down).

Making sure they "find out" surreptitiously (not in an obvious way) that you lie about everything you tell them is a subtle way to send the message that you are on to their game and they get the message.

And yes, some phrasing going on, I figured the "he's built" would trigger a response after I spoke of the shower incident.

His behavior with the nudity and all cinches his motivation as far as I'm concerned. My guess is that he had inmate-to-inmate sexual contact when he was locked up, and now wants more. That's just the "cop" in me thinking out loud.

Oh...lest I forget...don't bend over to pick up the soap.

The bi-polar admittance through me today, I actually felt nervous in there.

An attempt to gain your sympathy. He probably doesn't even know or care what the term means.


If he escalates like I think he will, his next technique will be to find little ways for you to "help" him, like he just needs a ride to the convenience store. Then he will escalate to something a little more, like "can I just catch a ride downtown, please." And so on and so on until you can't shake the guy and you are his best buddy.

Run.

And I mean it.

Guys like him perfect their technique in prison and they know how to wear a person down, especially people who are easy-going and friendly.

I've seen veteran officers with years of experience get sucked into a world where the inmate "gets something on them", like an embarrassing piece of knowledge or something. Then the inmate can pretty much get them to do whatever he wants to keep the secret.

Suppose, for example, the guy just happens to "accidentally" rub up against you in the shower. You're embarrassed, and he threatens to tell your wife that you and he are "lovers" unless you (fill in the blank).