I've had enough!!! I'm going to kill them!!!!! I need a pellet gun.

[Scrubber3]

Your original plan was terrific and is a bunch of fun. I use a pellet rifle for the starlings though. Works wonders and takes care of any boredom issues at the same time.

[Jellybean]

I bet if you pissed in a plastic cup and poured it in their nest, you'd never see them again.

Asymmetrical warfare at it's finest!

Of course climbing a ladder with a cup of nice warm pee in one hand....
Sounds like a job for the good idea fairy!

[scottryan]

****ing busy body neighbors have six bird feeders just on their side of our property line

Birds roost in locust tree in my front yard. They shit all over my driveway and car.

There is so much bird shit I have to step over little land mines when I walk up to my front door.

[SteyrAUG]

Asymmetrical warfare at it's finest!

Of course climbing a ladder with a cup of nice warm pee in one hand....
Sounds like a job for the good idea fairy!

I use my ninja skills to load the cup once I'm at the destination. Of course no hands, on the top of a ladder requires ninja skills. You can always go the water jug with a cap route if you don't have confidence in your ninja abilities. I also find it is the pouring of urine which requires paying attention more than the transportation of urine.

[T2C]

Ya but after the bird problem you have a nasty, unruly, alley cat problem

So the plan is not perfect.

[SteveS]

You mean Bambi Swallows !!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ledanek]

reminds me of this

[SpeedRacer]

I use my ninja skills to load the cup once I'm at the destination. Of course no hands, on the top of a ladder requires ninja skills. You can always go the water jug with a cap route if you don't have confidence in your ninja abilities. I also find it is the pouring of urine which requires paying attention more than the transportation of urine.

A true ninja wouldn't need a cup.

Or ladder.

[Endur]

I had a swallow problem...






















and then I divorced it.

[Shao]

I had a swallow problem...

and then I divorced it.

BLAM! But seriously folks. I live by the rules that my father taught me as a young lad - don't shoot it unless you're going to eat it - unless it's a person or insect.

I broke this rule twice and paid dire consequences in the form of near instant karma. I will describe one of these events to keep from having to write a novel.

I'm warning you - this may be a long read, but you may find it educational or at the very least humorous.

I was 17 when I killed my first innocent warm-blooded creature. It was on a dare. It was a still, cloudless spring day (note the cloudless part, it's important). I was in my backyard with my Sheridan Silver Streak .20, showing off for a couple of friends. I was shooting daisies and splitting twigs from 70-80 feet or so. After many unsuccessful attempts by my buddies to match my accuracy, I was challenged to shoot a lone bird flying so high that it took me a while to locate it. I have no idea at what altitude it was flying at, but it looked like a small flapping dot. I lined up my sights, tracked its flight path, then led it by a couple of inches before letting a Crow Magnum loose. The bird tumbled out of the sky much to my amazement. We searched for its corpse and found it in a neighbor's yard. It was a swallow or equivalent tiny bird (this was 20 years ago). The entry wound was located right between its legs with the exit wound blowing a large chunk of its throat out. A perfect shot. My friends were amazed but I played it off all cool like I was expecting success.

Immediately afterwards we decided to make a drive to the nearest convenience store (located about 2 miles away) to grab drinks and snacks. Now remember - this was a completely cloudless day - like not even a hint of the wispy feathery clouds (too lazy to google cloud nomenclature). I don't remember the exact temperature of course, but it was t-shirt weather and the sun was blazing.

Well, we made it exactly half way before my friend's Supra (his rich Asian parents owned a flooring store) developed a flat. It was still sunny and the sky was as blue as could be. We made the decision to walk the rest of the way to buy a can of fix-o-flat and our coveted junk food. I shit you not - within 2-3 minutes of walking, a cold wind started blowing. Ominous black clouds formed overhead in what seemed like an instant and God/Buddha/Vishnu/The ghost of Jerry Garcia dropped the temperature into the 40s and started pelting us with the mother of all downpours. We ran like crazy the rest of the way, soaking wet and freezing our asses off. We finally made it to the store, bought the fix-a-flat and our sustenance, and then waited at least 45 minutes for the rain to subside, which it never did. So, being the 17 year old boys that we were (that invincible feeling... I miss it), we made like LA riot looters and made a mad dash for my friends car, soaking wet and freezing the entire time. After reaching our destination, we applied the temporary tire fix just to watch it leak out of the tire and mix with the rising rain water. We huddled in the car for another 30 minutes, waiting for the rain to subside. Once we realized that we were in the middle of the storm of the century, we decided to make the remaining 1 mile dash back to my place.

I couldn't make this up if I tried - it rained the entire horrible run back to the house until we were about 10 feet from my front door - then... it stopped! The clouds parted and the sun came back out, the temperature rising to a comfortable level again. It was the most freakishly quick weather change I've experienced my whole life and I live in TX. I always chalked it up to either karma or breaking my pop's rules that I had lived by for 10-11 years. I'll save the other story for another time but I will disclose that it involved a Glock 23, a turkey buzzard, and falling tree limbs.

Anyway, if you absolutely MUST kill these innocent creatures and don't plan on turning them into appetizers, I would suggest that you pick up a vintage Sheridan in .20 - the most accurate anything that I've ever shot, just remember my story before pulling that trigger the first time.