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Thread: My life was just turned upside down.......

  1. #11
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    3. If I adopt when do you start sitting down the dates when your "cleaning" your firearms Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
    Not the way to go since if it my son that comes by to pick her up, he'll just end up talking guns with you all night. Guns aren't the right way to go. Open the door to the garage and show him a shovel and and a bag of lime and tell him that he won't be missed.

    God bless you. Sounds like an absolute crap storm with this little girl in the center. Don't forget to take care of yourself.

    Two year olds are like smart hunting dogs. They will get away with as much shennanigans as you let them. Consistency in rules/discipline and lots of attention for positive behavior is about as simple as the complex problem can be put. Every kid is different and responds differently. She doesn't know that her life has been totally jacked, that is all she knows. Getting her into healthy routines as fast as you can, is all I can think of.

    Good luck.

    Child proof the house. It is a hoot. Like little chinese puzzles all over the place.
    The Second Amendment ACKNOWLEDGES our right to own and bear arms that are in common use that can be used for lawful purposes. The arms can be restricted ONLY if subject to historical analogue from the founding era or is dangerous (unsafe) AND unusual.

    It's that simple.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by THCDDM4 View Post
    No experience here- but I believe you are absolutely doing the right thing and would do the same in your situation.

    Screw all the other variables and negative aspects- a 2 year old child needs parents, love, nurturing and to be taken care of.

    Euro's a good dude, but he's way off base here.

    It's gonna change your life. In so many ways. But children change your life for the better. Nurturing and loving a child- seeing them develop and grow is such a reward.

    I wish you, your family and the child all the best.

    Patience and a kind understanding heart is what this child will need.
    Could not have said it better myself. Also want to emphasize the absolute importance of boundaries, rules and routine. A two year old will test you, and they really do crave order.

    Some random advice - definitely have your wife join a local moms swip swap group online. We have literally saved thousands buying kids stuff (clothes, toys, furniture) that way for our 2 and 4 yr old and then reselling or trading when they grow out of it. It really is a great thing. We are in a very good place financially, but when it comes to kids stuff, it's almost irresponsible to not save money this way.

    I'd also recommend finding a foster parent support group.

    I would also get a court order against the biological father asap, shouldn't be hard with his legal issues, because I promise you if he thinks there is ANY was to leverage the angel to squeeze some $ from you, he will try it. Same with the mother. Get a lawyer and investigate this.

    Kids are the absolute best thing in life - and you are lucking out skipping the whole newborn no sleep zombie mode phase

    Good luck - you are very likely saving this child's life!
    Last edited by HighDesert; 07-19-17 at 23:26.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by PrarieDog View Post
    I disagree. You have the opportunity to be a blessing in the life of this girl and change her destiny forever. Good on you for stepping up. Though not a kid of your own I can speak for having kids, they are the most frustrating, expensive, aggravating, and time sucking thing and one the most joyful things that can be in your life. Fully worth the effort. God Bless.
    +1
    She's only two, you have plenty of time to pour into her life. She will need love and boundaries. You can grow into this and she will be forever grateful for your sacrifice and commitment. Dealing with your brother will be a separate issue.

    Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk
    "It is better to be a Warrior in a Garden than a Gardner in a War"
    Let's use the First Amendment to protect the Second so we can avoid using the Second to protect the First.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by HighDesert View Post

    Some random advice - definitely have your wife join a local moms swip swap group online.
    Girlfriend, not wife, correct?
    The Second Amendment ACKNOWLEDGES our right to own and bear arms that are in common use that can be used for lawful purposes. The arms can be restricted ONLY if subject to historical analogue from the founding era or is dangerous (unsafe) AND unusual.

    It's that simple.

  5. #15
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    You are doing the right thing.

    If you let her this little girl will enrich your life and you certainly will enrich hers.

    My wife and I have done foster care and ultimately ended up adopting our two daughters after fostering them for about a year.

    Best thing that ever happened to us.

  6. #16
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    Euro may or may not be off base.

    She may be a perfect little girl that will be a wonderful addition to his life and turn out great.

    Or she may be a broken, used, screwed up, not right huge burden to you.

    And in either of the two cases druggie mom and dad could show up and cause problems.

    If my brother died in a car accident, and his son was losing mom to cancer,
    I would not hesitate to adopt my nephew.

    I am at that age where I am supposed to have a midlife crisis and get a new wife and start a new family while my college kids scoff at me anyway. A normal little two year old that had smart working parents he lost taken into the current family would be less of a jolt.

    If my brother was a scum bag druggie felon and mom was some unknown junkie poisoning her body while pregnant and this was some kid I never met with a bunch of problems, I might wave off.

    I don't know, it has not happened to me.

    Before I had ever been under fire, I assumed I would perform in a certain way. When it happened, I did.

    Then before I had ever exposed myself to fire to get to wounded buddy, I assumed I would perform in a certain way. When the time came, I did.

    Then I wondered if I was already wounded, would I still expose myself to fire to get to a wounded buddy. I assume I would, but was never in that situation.

    You may not be wounded, but are getting exposed to some fire.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by devildogljb View Post
    Well it all comes down to hoping to make a difference i guess. This little girl sounds like shes had no real family since her birth and she is my family.
    I hope your noble efforts are rewarded. I hope that you live the rest of your life content with the knowledge that you literally saved the life of this girl.
    It's hard to be a ACLU hating, philosophically Libertarian, socially liberal, fiscally conservative, scientifically grounded, agnostic, porn admiring gun owner who believes in self determination.

    Chuck, we miss ya man.

    كافر

  8. #18
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    My thoughts:

    It seems to me like you are acting on impulse or emotion here. Have you really thought this through? I don't wish to encourage you to take in this child in need, or discourage you either. I'm simply wondering what happens six months from now when things settle down and you realize your life is not longer your own. That slap from reality can be a heavy handed one, even in ideal circumstances when people plan this out and do it deliberately.

    Do you like your life or any aspect of it? If you want things to stay as they are, then don't do this. If you don't like your life the way it is, and want to completely change it all around, then go for it. Understand that there will be changes that you can't fathom right now. Whether or not these changes are for the better is a matter of perception. Some love and some hate it. Its a mixed bag for most people.

    Jumping in and being the hero is going to feel great at first, but how are you going to feel months or years from now? You might feel great and its the best thing you've ever done. It might give your life meaning and purpose that you never knew existed. Or it might suck real hard, and you'll resent what has happened to your once carefree life. If you are the kind of strong person who has the intestinal fortitude to soldier on though the rough stuff and offer an unusually high level of self-sacrifice for years on end, then by all means, rescue this little girl and give her a great life. If you are going to resent the life changes, lack of seep, loss of money, strain on your relationship with the GF, etc…, then don't get in the middle of this mess.

    Think this through before you sign those papers. Talk to several people who have raised daughters. Try to gain more insight into what you are really signing up for. And your GF? Is she really on board with this? Does she really want to be an instant Mommy? How is she going to feel when you work late and she has to do the laundry so the kid has clean clothes for school, and the dishes, and get the kid ready for bed?

    Just food for thought man. Things to consider.

    Please keep us posted.
    "Literally EVERYTHING is in space, Morty." Grandpa Rick Sanchez

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by HighDesert View Post
    Could not have said it better myself. Also want to emphasize the absolute importance of boundaries, rules and routine. A two year old will test you, and they really do crave order.

    Some random advice - definitely have your wife join a local moms swip swap group online. We have literally saved thousands buying kids stuff (clothes, toys, furniture) that way for our 2 and 4 yr old and then reselling or trading when they grow out of it. It really is a great thing. We are in a very good place financially, but when it comes to kids stuff, it's almost irresponsible to not save money this way.

    I'd also recommend finding a foster parent support group.

    I would also get a court order against the biological father asap, shouldn't be hard with his legal issues, because I promise you if he thinks there is ANY was to leverage the angel to squeeze some $ from you, he will try it. Same with the mother. Get a lawyer and investigate this.

    Kids are the absolute best thing in life - and you are lucking out skipping the whole newborn no sleep zombie mode phase

    Good luck - you are very likely saving this child's life!
    HighDesert has good info. We're looking into fostering here with the help of our church. There are a lot of organizations trying to help these little ones. Glad you're trying as well. We always tell our girls that family are the ones who are supposed to be there when you need help.

    Don't make your guns a big deal with the inspection. If they ask, say yes, and they're all locked in the safe. Move to the next question. Like the IRS, the less detail they have, the less they can worry. Heck, once I told my kids they could see the guns anything they wanted just by asking me, they stopped caring about them!

    And in my experience, anyone who goes on and on about the Terrible Twos never met a three year old! A two year old can throw a tantrum, which you can mostly ignore (annoying, but whatever). A three year old has language skills and will argue until the Sun burns out. You'll be amazed when you suddenly realize you've been arguing with a child for 20 minutes, and now they won't take "Yes" for an answer!

    Yeah, your life will be turned upside-down. And it's awesome. If you're doing it right, and in there all the time, it's a ****ing ton of work. But it's super fun too. Just go slow, keep your temper, and try to keep them on schedule. It'll be a blast!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  10. #20
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    ditto high desert

    I also throw in ONLY you truly know your girlfriend/spouse and your heart and know/realize this is a life long thing search your heart mate !!!!

    if you feel its not there help the child get to a home as so many want children that are also good loving folks
    and I am not questioning or anything just again life long but sure ya know that just dont know ya so please read that understanding that

    the fact you are willing to do this is a major thumbs up ! and much admiration respect etc.

    agree kids are the best thing to happen to ones life to make it whole IMHO as long as they wanted them hahahahahah as I say baby sitting kids is the best birth control ever !


    best of luck and keep us posted !! again so much respect to jump in and save a child !!!!!!

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