Originally Posted by
Firefly
I stand by my words.
There are no bad police.
If you've made it through the process to get to go to police academy; they have parsed your life tonsee where you may be irresponsible, deficient, unfit, unstable, etc.
Usually it works. Then you go to Academy which is equal parts boot camp and college. You memorize case law, universal procedure, bare minimum self defense, bare minimum shooting, and a lot of writing.
And you feel like one of God's chosen, but in a good way. Not arrogance. You feel really positive. To go out and do good.
Then. ....you meet your trainer. He talks to you like shit, bitches about everything, reminds you every day you are a rookie, gets frustrated because this is all new to you and there are a lot of gray areas with few clear answers, pumps your head full of "back your partner" whuch means "dont tell LT how lazy and shiftless I am" but at the same time he will tell everybody you are either a fvck up or a kissass. He will do stupid shit and pin on you. As you grow into your own he will take credit for anything you accomplish. He will drill into your head not to dare touch your gun then happen upon something real and berate you or write you up on Officer Safety because you didnt have your gun out. He will either be a bald, black worthless son of a bitch who will run his bubba gump lips full of racist shit about blacks and whites alike that put you in an awkward position because asva new guy your words mean nothing and any legit complaint you make gets you called a "snowflake". Or you get some balding whute guy who makes a point to not give you a chance because he is 45 and can'tcatch a promote.
Adam 12 was fantasy of the level headed guy teaching the young mind
Now thanks to diversity, you get some mexican motherfvcker with shortman syndrome who rattles off on his cellphome in spanish. He's in the car, but not there for you. Everyone thinks he's an asset when he's a coaster.
So that young, fresh mind gets jaded, stops caring. The heart breaks. The spirit dies. Nobody cares. Nobody listens. So you end up becoming what you hated. Fight it too hard and you're a crusader.
There will be days you will want to die. ?
And you will say over and over and OVER "If people could just talk and be a little flexible and help a little"
But it wont happen.
Then you hit the gun freaks, the god complex guys, the "I bet she looks good naked" hires, the token black hires, the guys who already seem shady picking up bitches on stops.
It hurts. You feel betrayed. Because you got told you were all Blue. But you're not. You are black, brown, gay, female, hispanic, or the white boy. The game is buck passing.
"If people could just talk a little and be more flexible and help a little..."
Then one day you wake uo and don't care anymore. But you got a moral compass so you drive on. You play lone ranger. Nobody cares. F em. I'll just cover my 45 degrees,get through the day, go home and jack off before I go to sleep.
But more and more sorry trainers and sorry admin create sorry officers. Write ups for doing the right thing. All while they out there being horrible.
It goes beyond hatred. You realize you hate yourself because you allow yourself to be around these people. But the fire isnt dim yet. You still believe. Its fading but you dig to the deepest part of your guts. By now you've been fvcked over. You been injured, no back up. "Extended ETAs" "caught behind a train"
And that faint voice is a weak whisper "If people could just talk a little, be more flexible, and help a little"
By now you have scars, aches, and bad memories. You don't hate these people because they arenn't real people. It's pretendo world.
Then you realize it's not that you don't care anymore. It's that you are no longer capable.
And you did try. You were just outnumbered. Don't be too hard on yourself.
You really didn't have a fair nor sporting chance.
After all, look who trained you.
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