The Weird Creepy Candidate that is Beto O'Rourke

**Doc Safari** · 03-15-19, 17:37

https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2019-...slaughterhouse

There's more to Robert Francis "Beto" O'Rourke (D-TX) than just cultural appropriation, a DUI and allegations of being a furry.

O'Rourke, 46, acknowledged in an exclusive Reuters interview that he belonged to the oldest group of computer hackers in U.S. history - the Cult of the Dead Cow.

Named after an abandoned Texas slaughterhouse, the "Hacktivist" group made headlines for developing tools that let ordinary people hack computers running Microsoft Windows.

This next part isn't such a big deal. I ordered CD's of obscure stuff from mail order houses when I was in college:

O'Rourke eventually started his own message board, TacoLand, which was mostly about punk music. "This was the counterculture: Maximum Rock & Roll [magazine], buying records by catalog you couldn’t find at record stores," said O'Rourke.

But now, this is really interesting. Funny? Or just a tad twisted?

Beto the Ball-Buffer (Or, I'm Beto, Buff my Balls)

Creepy poems

Around 1988, O'Rourke posted several strange writings under the handle "Psychedelic Warlord." In one, he fantasized about taking pleasure in murdering children by running them over with a car.

"As I neared the young ones, I put all my weight on my right foot, keeping the accelerator pedal on the floor until I heard the crashing of the two children on the hood, and then the sharp cry of pain from one of the two. I was so fascinated for a moment, that when after I had stopped my vehicle, I just sat in a daze, sweet visions filling my head," wrote O'Rourke.

In another writing - a poem called "THE SONG OF THE COW," O'Rourke worships a ball-buffing, butt-shining, ass-waxing cow that provides "milky wonder."

Lyrics:

I need a butt-shine

Right now

Your are holy,

Oh, sacred cow

I thirst for you,

Provide Milk

Buff my balls,

Love the Cow,

Good fortune for those that do.

Love me, breathe my feet,

The Cow has risen.

Wax my ass,

Scrub my balls

The Cow has risen,

Provide Milk.

Oh, Milky winder, sing for us once more

Live your life, everlusting joy.

Thrust your hooves up my analytic passage,

Enjoy my fruits

Provider of Cheese and other wonderful dairy products,

We will cleanse your inner intestines.

We will bathe in your Pungent Odor

Gather cotton.

Count my eyes,

Smell my skin,

Love the Scarecrow and the Milkman.

I live only for eternity,

Thirst for the undrinkable.

Hold the heat,

Praise the dough boy at the pizza shop.

Love the Oxen dung!

My take: This is just the tip of the iceberg. Swami predict we will have stories of him having sex with inanimate objects or something before it's over.

**Averageman** · 03-15-19, 17:41

He's a phony, simply put a nincompoop with a good story to tell.
If I owned a diner and you jumped up on the counter to wave your arms and spout off some socialism, I would nail you to said counter with an F'ing steak knife in each foot.

**Outlander Systems** · 03-15-19, 17:44

The Skateboard Socialist lmfao

**gaijin** · 03-15-19, 17:47

Nice. Real effing nice.

I had him figured for a major wack job, guess I was wrong.
“Deviant douchebag” more likely.
How in HELL can people vote for major, “never done nothin” assholes like this?

**Doc Safari** · 03-15-19, 17:52

Since he's supposedly a "furry", I wonder what animal he dresses up as? Hmmmmm......let's see, a jackass?

Oh, wait, re-reading the poem he must dress as a bull or something.

Right.

Clinton only got a BJ in the oval office. Just the image of two furries doing it under the picture of George Washington makes me want to puke.