So Seriously...Apocalypse Now...

[ramairthree]

I get the guy going on a bender and losing his shit. Like bribing officials to get dudes out of jail in other counties familiar with it. Like guys still missing that fled the US to avoid charges familiar with it. But hose are outliers.

The ability of some of those guys from that era to let loose was Olympic level however. Different times.

But I also get that vibe he was eyes wide open all WTF- sort of like the FBI chick and her partner in Sicario -
When his background suggested he should have been more like Graver or Steve if they had to go shut down Alejandro going off the deep end with a bunch of AUC.

[SteyrAUG]

Compartmentalization is a big part of it. There is also the work hard, train hard, fight hard, play hard and live hard mindset.

And when someone like that, under loads of stress, gets to cut loose it happens at full throttle. Steyr I don’t want you to think I’m bashing your childhood heroes but I’m quite sure a lot of them had moments like we are discussing. You just never knew it because they kept it from you or hid it well. Or maybe my generation (GWOT) of vets and I are different, but I doubt that.

Just to get us more or less on the same page. War is stressful no matter who you are and no matter what you do it changes you to some extent, some more...some less. I don't think it's possible to be in combat, or even near combat, and not have some level of PTSD. Now I don't mean PTSD in the sense that it automatically qualifies you as mentally disabled...but you just don't laugh that shit off and never think about it again.

Having said that, I'm addressing the other end of the spectrum. I also don't buy the misconception that everyone who has been in or near combat is forever damaged and unable to function in society and doomed to a life of alcohol abuse or drug dependence. Most people who "survive" combat tend to fall on the "very functional" end of the spectrum and the easily damaged ones usually don't survive. This becomes exceptionally true when we are talking about things like special forces.

So this isn't me saying I'm right, I'm also not saying you are wrong...I'm saying both happen but in the context of Capt. Willard in the film Apocalypse Now I'm not buying a member of MAC-V SOG as a guy who can't manage his shit. Usually you survive in a group like that, everything else becomes gravy and all other problems besides combat are easily managed because of their unique perspective.

Or like one of my EOD friends used to say "If you aren't actually on fire, you are having a pretty good day." I used to never be able to complain about anything in his presence because I wasn't actually on fire.

[Averageman]

Just to get us more or less on the same page. War is stressful no matter who you are and no matter what you do it changes you to some extent, some more...some less. I don't think it's possible to be in combat, or even near combat, and not have some level of PTSD. Now I don't mean PTSD in the sense that it automatically qualifies you as mentally disabled...but you just don't laugh that shit off and never think about it again.

Nothing "Special" in my service, but I've been there and done that, 35 years total, I'm not old but I'm getting there.
I'm beginning to understand Don Corleone toward the end of Godfather I. Just sitting in his garden looking back and going over some decisions I've made and wondering wtf?
You begin to check your karma more and more as the years add up, don't be a Chump, you don't have to have been a Saint. Just keep the good side of the scales a little lower.