Advice Wanted: Closet Conservative

[TomMcC]

So, outside of doing what you must to earn your degree, which I agree, would you bring them into your personal inner circle, as friends & confidantes, if you STILL had to "remain silent" & not "argue"? I cannot see that as being friends. NO ONE that knows me would be shocked that I carried or used a gun in self defense, they'd be shocked if I didnt,actually.

I used two examples of my beliefs to make a point-not to turn this into a thread about abortion,which Ill never condone, but you saying its a "straw man argument" and "most people dont believe in murdering babies"...YES, THEY DO. About half of the country, or more do.
So, right there, I wouldnt/couldnt bring someone in as a close friend, certainly someone I thought I needed to move back to the wasteland called New York.
Adrenaline 6 is 100% correct- they day you need help, or try to defend yourself, and they are shocked/angered/pissed over the fact that you own a gun and plan to use it, and they narc you out for it, dont act all surprised. This is EXACTLY whats happened with Red Flag laws, so dont poo poo it out of hand.
I guess my definition of friend is much different than yours or others here. Almost ALL of my circle have been in my life well over 40 years. Some over 45. We've been thru deaths, births, divorces, marriages, ups, downs, lefts & rights. There is NOTHING I dont know about them or their feelings about any subject, and they feel the same about me. Would I move somewhere to get back to these people? In a heartbeat.
And without ANY doubt, I know how they will be come hell or high water- and they know what Ill do too. An we dont have to avoid anything, and no one has to remain silent about jack shit.

I'm pretty careful about who I call friend also, I got this concept from a Jewish man who only called some guys his friends once and that's after talking to thousands.

Just between me and you, the sad part is that half the church in American thinks abortion is ok.

[m1a_scoutguy]

I need some advice from you fine sage fellas.

It’s a very long back-story that I don’t care to delve into, but I’m going to be moving back to New York State. Terrible decision, particularly with the way things are headed.

All my life-long friends back in NY are varying degrees of left. We get along fine because I never challenge their beliefs. I never try to change their minds, only maybe plant a small seed for them to consider on their own time. But they constantly text me news articles and blather on and on with social media with their shitty received opinions.

It’s not just my close friends; most of my family is evangelical left. They believe in some wildly inaccurate things, which I fight back the urge to correct them on. And ALL, and I mean ALL, of the music I like is written by ignorant bloviating leftists. I started following most of my go-to bands and musicians on social media to keep track of their new releases and tours and such, and it’s a non-stop deluge of political bullshit.

So I feel pretty isolated. These people are willing to be friends with me, but they also seem to want to “bring me around” to their thinking. I say “their thinking”, but it’s all Received Opinion. They don’t question, they nod their heads at the idiot box every night. I don’t respect them in a way, I feel like they’re ignorant and/or close-minded by choice. At the same time, nor do I feel like trying to red pill them.

What do you do when everyone around you is deluded?

But the thought of having nobody in your life is awful. Just keep your mouth shut and enjoy your friends and family? Is it a matter of core philosophy and beliefs being in conflict? Or is it just dismissible as political nonsense? I’d like to think the latter, good friendships are hard to come by. But I don’t believe some of the friendships would survive if I were to “come out of the closet” as a center-right/ libertarian. All would have a negative opinion of me, and a few would probably call me a fascist racist and sever ties.

Stay in the closet for peace?

You say NYS,,sooo does that mean the City or someplace else ? Sounds like your heading straight into the hubs of hell,,LOL Anyways I'm Upstate/Central NY and its reasonable up this way. I'm an Old fart but if your within an hour or so I'll be your range bud and help ya get through the shit. There is no shortage of dumb-asss's up this way but more good than bad for sure. I have plenty of Family that is not in-tune but plenty that are,for the ones that aren't I just keep quiet "unless" they say something stupid and then I quietly hit back,LOL Pic your battles,keep to yourself and don't let it get ya down,lifes to short to let politics screw up your everyday life. Let me know where your gonna settle,maybe I can help,LOL

[Arik]

I only have two friends. Everyone else I consider just people im on friendly terms with. I'm probably the most conservative of the 3 but they're not exactly far left either. Not all of us believe in religion or look at social issues the same way or finance. And we've had debates. But one thing we all understand is that it a difference of opinion isnt personal. It's not an attack on. We enjoy each other's company and our debates.

As for family......blood is thicker than everything. Most of my family is more or less conservative but I do have one ultra liberal relative. We don't agree on anything but at family get togethers were friendly to each other and at the end of the day family is family. If she called and asked for help I'd be there and wouldn't think twice.

I actually enjoy being alone. I enjoy friends and family too but as something that just breaks up the week to week. Otherwise I prefer just my dog and I.

[Business_Casual]

So,just asking as I exit to go to work...you have people you call friends who believe different than your core beliefs?
And, Im not understanding the weaponized aspect of your comment, if could explain that Id appreciate it.

Yes. I have friends that have a range of opinions and I try to red pill them from any topic I can - Glock to the Latin Mass. You all have no idea how wrong you are... (just a joke people)

People have opinions man, shake the dust from your feet and move on.

Ideas are weapons used by the media - how else do you explain stupid virtue signals such as happens on social media?

[BoringGuy45]

So, outside of doing what you must to earn your degree, which I agree, would you bring them into your personal inner circle, as friends & confidantes, if you STILL had to "remain silent" & not "argue"? I cannot see that as being friends. NO ONE that knows me would be shocked that I carried or used a gun in self defense, they'd be shocked if I didnt,actually.

No, there are very few that I would bring into my inner circle. One of my classmates, who deduced my views, "came out" to me...as a fellow moderate/conservative who was biting his tongue. Another woman in my class, who is left of center, I believe holds some shared views with me, particularly regarding abortion. Other than that, I likely would not invest in any deep friendships with any of my other classmates; I'll stick to just being cordial in class.

That said, most of my closest friends share my views. My best friend, with whom I went through the police academy and worked alongside as a correctional officer, is a pro-life, pro-gun, unapologetic conservative, as is his wife. It's refreshing to be able to say whatever the hell I want around them and my other like minded friends.

My family...that's another story. My wife and my parents and I are all on the same page, and my in-laws are super conservative (more so than my wife and I). But my brothers are both very liberal (though my middle brother is slowly drifting to the center a little bit), as is everyone on my dad's side of the family, and my wife's brother and sister-in-law.

[Diamondback]

I'll just say, if someone can't quit talking politics and set the differences aside long enough to break bread and share a meal, THEY'RE the problem.

I do all the cooking for my folks's holiday dinners when we don't cheat with premade from Denny's or Black Bear, and since *I* run the kitchen I maintain a strictly-enforced rule: "MY dinner table is a No Politics Zone and there will be NO 'holiday hostage-taking' here, if you don't like it No Food For You and you know where the door is." Doesn't matter if the violator's positions agree with mine or not, holiday meals are "forced proximity" and I won't stand for MY food being used to hold a captive audience for haranguing. By all means go for it either before or after Mess when people can walk away, but not during.

[Straight Shooter]

I'll just say, if someone can't quit talking politics and set the differences aside long enough to break bread and share a meal, THEY'RE the problem.

I do all the cooking for my folks's holiday dinners when we don't cheat with premade from Denny's or Black Bear, and since *I* run the kitchen I maintain a strictly-enforced rule: "MY dinner table is a No Politics Zone and there will be NO 'holiday hostage-taking' here, if you don't like it No Food For You and you know where the door is." Doesn't matter if the violator's positions agree with mine or not, holiday meals are "forced proximity" and I won't stand for MY food being used to hold a captive audience for haranguing. By all means go for it either before or after Mess when people can walk away, but not during.

Brother, you are talking about two different things..being civil, cordial, friendly, helpful, kind, loving..HUMAN...to people..which is what Im COMMANDED to do by my Lord & Savior Christ Jesus..VS...having people in my personal close circle that I TRUST, I KNOW how & what theyll do in most any situation, I can count on them, and them me, and we have shared core beliefs, values, loves, likes & passions.
When I go out into this world armed..everyday...I am FULLY ready to defend not only myself, but EVERYONE AROUND ME. I wont stop & ask political or religious beliefs, Im just gonna stop whatever the threat is..OR DIE TRYING.
I can, will, have & do break bread with so many various folks. Not a problem. The OP was talking about "friends" specifically, and so am I.
And, Ive never agreed & never will, with this insanity.."well, theyre family". BULLSHIT. Ole Unle Joe the child molester, he's family, Im supposed to act like he aint a sick SOB? Aunt Susy is a dope addled bull dyke who loves to talk about abortion like its going to Walmart for candy..Im supposed to love her? HELL NO. Not happening.
Ive got family I do not care about at all, other than just as humans, I feel no loyalty to them, and they have none to me.
Never understood that "they're family" crap.

[jpmuscle]

[QUOTE=Esq.;2851137]

The parallels are quite striking actually.....

Yea, much of Buffalo is sh*thole


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[THCDDM4]

Don't hide. Be yourself. Let people be themselves and if they don't want to be acquaintances or friends, so be it.

I feel Conservatives are doing harm to themselves by hiding and being the grey man. That allows Liberals to control not only the message, but they literally control what you say and when you say it, they control who you are.

There is no reason to bash people over the head with your opinions- even though that is the liberal way currently, but you can still voice your opinions and be heard. Use logic, and a bit of tactical emotion mixed in.

In professional settings, politics and religion should not be discussed and just shut that shit down and steer it back to business.

We are kind of entering/in a dark ages of sorts. Where we hide ourselves out of fear of uncomfortable situations or losing interactions with people around us.

Be yourself, speak your opinions and let people decide who they are and react to you how they wish.

If we don't do that then we are just allowing our self expression to be destroyed, and being complicit in the act. That's a dangerous thing.

[JoshNC]

Do. Not. Move. To. NY. You know it’s a terrible place for freedom-loving libertarian gun owners. 10 round mags. May issue concealed carry with all sorts of draconian restrictions. No unneutered semiauto rifles, no title-2. F$$$$$$$$$$$$ck that place.

With regard to flying your conservative flag high or staying closeted, fly it high brother. I have lots of ultra liberal friends and family. I don’t let politics affect my relationships, but I also make my views known calmly and rationally.