How do I give up on myself?

[just a scout]

Little battles you can win.

Make your bed when you get up.

Learn to make your perfect cup of coffee.

Lift one more rep rah yesterday.

Say hi to that pretty girl at the store.

Enjoy a nice meal.

All little battles, all small victories.

Mine yesterday was shooting one hole groups with a new rifle.


And go find a therapist or a priest you can sit with. Fr. John helped me get out of a serious despondency over my exwife.


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[SteyrAUG]

Like the title says, how can I quit believing in myself? It only sets me up for failure and disappointment. I’m not good at anything and have failed at obtaining a single dream of mine

Your goals are either unrealistic or your efforts are not sufficient or some combination of both.

My genuine "care about a person" advice is find what makes you happy and figure out how to do that as often as possible.

I used to be F ing BROKE living in Ft. Lauderdale but I could afford to go free diving (snorkling) 5 days a week so I regularly ate lobster...I loved that and it made being F ing BROKE tolerable.

Quit trying to live somebody else's life or you fairy tale version of a perfect life and just start living. Doesn't mean don't try...but if you don't succeed don't let it be the end of everything.

Lots of people on their dying breath would love to trade places with you. Their heads are so full of the possibilities of life if only they were in the situation you are currently in. If you were dying of some incurable disease that would be different and even then you should be trying to max out as many good days as you can steal away from death.

[Rogue556]

First and foremost, the advice given in this thread already is good and I think you'd be wise to heed some of it.

Secondly, if I'm off base at all, I do apologize in advance.

But..

Have you stopped to ask yourself if it's your version of success that you've failed to achieve, or is it possible you've failed to live up to society's definition? We live in a social media driven world. People document their lives daily for the world to see, but it's highly filtered. No one wants to put their failure on display for the worlds amusement. If you are comparing yourself too much to others, you'll only be comparing yourself to their greatest achievements. The failures they've endured to get there are what you don't see, and all but the most lucky have a trail of failures behind every success story. I'd even venture to bet a lot of them failed miserably at some point and had to abandon many of their dreams for new endeavors. This is the rule and not the exception for most people I know.

If you are heavily invested in multiple forms of social media, I highly suggest disconnecting. Everyone on the internet is a SEAL/Astronaut/Brain Surgeon. I promise you though, the vast majority do not fit that mold.

Find meaning in the little things. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket, so to speak. Investing all of your emotional energy into one thing is similar to gambling your life savings away at the casino. Sure, you may hit big and be sitting on cloud 9.. but that's not often the case. When you do that and fail, it's devastating.

Compete against yourself daily. You are your own worst enemy. Strive to be better tomorrow than you were today. When you fail (and you will, because you're human) get back up and keep going, even if the direction is different.

Life is about a whole lot more than career paths, promotions, and the newest hottness. Take all of the other nonsense out of the equation and focus on being the kind of person you'd admire. You need to define what true success means to you before you can strive for it.

Of course, I'm just some guy on the Internet though, so take what I said with a grain of salt.




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[Straight Shooter]

What you NEED is a personal relationship with a man named Jesus Christ.

[jbjh]

I’m sorry you’re going thru such a tough time. I truly mean that. Having your life shattered sucks.

That said, you have to take a step back and seriously prioritize things. You still have your life, and have choices to make.

You don’t have to plan out the rest of your life, but you do need to keep moving forward. That’s going to take a lot of effort right now. Friends and family can help, but they’ll get burned out. Professional therapists can help guide you to where you’re trying to go (if you know), and keep you from bogging down in your own misery (it’s easy to do).

Limit TV watching, get exercise, seek out your friends. Severely limit imbibing.

You can do this. Really you can.

And remember that everything good in your life came because of change. This is another one, and really good things can come.


Sent from 80ms in the future

[Firefly]

Just listen to this 20 times in a row and, (I say this with compassion) go to Lowes, buy a ladder snd get over yourself



I mean sheeyit....I have no friends, no surviving family, and I wake up miserable most days and I’m often angry at the world but in a way it makes me happy

[HMM]

Start listening to the Mindset Mentor podcast now!

[SteyrAUG]

After a shitty day where everything went wrong, money I depended on simply didn't happen or got reprioritized, people who I counted on failed me...etc.

I could usually still find solace in a pepperoni pizza and a fizzy coke. Everything else was still a problem to be solved, but with a decent pizza and a coke I could figure out my best options.

Some things there is no fixing. When my dad died, when I lose a dog, those are big deal things I have zero control over. They can't be fixed, but they sure as hell put the rest of my problems into perspective.

Find what is important - do THAT.
Find what makes life tolerable - do THAT.

Life could always be better, even if you have everything you want...life could always be better. The real trick is making life better when you don't have any of that shit.

I know guys who busted their ass to get the best grades (better than everyone else), so that they could get the best jobs and then busted their ass some more to build that into top of their field and kept doing that until their mid 40s...and THEN...some bitch divorced them and took half of everything and put them almost back at square ONE...or if life was really gonna do you dirty...hit you with some horrific illness that sucked up every dime and even though you survived it still took decades off the back end of your life expectancy....or if life was really gonna do you in...after all of that...the illness came back and you had less than a year to tell everyone you loved them, put your affairs in order and somehow make peace with this awfully, shitty situation that you have no control over anyway.

And if none of that is happening to you, seriously go find a really good pizza and have a Coke and a smile.

[arptsprt]

Amen SteyrAUG.

Honest to God true story. This past Tuesday a friend of mine only a few years older than me went to have his shoulder looked at for a rotator cuff injury he got rafting this summer.

Only guess what? The pain he’d been feeling wasn’t his rotator cuff. His upper right body is full of tumors. The cancer he didn’t know he had is eating through some of his bones and down to the bone marrow.

An otherwise healthy, active, happy guy thought he was going in to get set up for treatment for a strained or tore rotator cup was just told he probably has terminal cancer.

Sorry your other gig didn’t work out for you man, but suck it up and put shit into perspective. Life is full of obstacles and opportunities. But at the end of the day, your health is the greatest asset you have. That and your loved ones. Somehow you need to put this in the rear view mirror and move on. Other good things await, you just have to try.

After a shitty day where everything went wrong, money I depended on simply didn't happen or got reprioritized, people who I counted on failed me...etc.

I could usually still find solace in a pepperoni pizza and a fizzy coke. Everything else was still a problem to be solved, but with a decent pizza and a coke I could figure out my best options.

Some things there is no fixing. When my dad died, when I lose a dog, those are big deal things I have zero control over. They can't be fixed, but they sure as hell put the rest of my problems into perspective.

Find what is important - do THAT.
Find what makes life tolerable - do THAT.

Life could always be better, even if you have everything you want...life could always be better. The real trick is making life better when you don't have any of that shit.

I know guys who busted their ass to get the best grades (better than everyone else), so that they could get the best jobs and then busted their ass some more to build that into top of their field and kept doing that until their mid 40s...and THEN...some bitch divorced them and took half of everything and put them almost back at square ONE...or if life was really gonna do you dirty...hit you with some horrific illness that sucked up every dime and even though you survived it still took decades off the back end of your life expectancy....or if life was really gonna do you in...after all of that...the illness came back and you had less than a year to tell everyone you loved them, put your affairs in order and somehow make peace with this awfully, shitty situation that you have no control over anyway.

And if none of that is happening to you, seriously go find a really good pizza and have a Coke and a smile.

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[OH58D]

I hate to respond to these kinds of threads because we know nothing about the background, age and current situation of the OP, including interpersonal relationships or the lack thereof. If it's female issues, that can be remedied by getting into circulation more. Avoid the bar flys and get involved in some social or church organization. Maybe you'll find a soul mate? Ultimately I can only comment on my life.

First of all, at age 60, I came to the realization a long time ago that life is full of zig zags, main paths, side paths. My Christian upbringing taught me to follow the "straight and narrow path", but that never totally worked out. Doors open, doors close. Opportunities appear, opportunities disappear. My first want in life didn't revolve around helicopters, but that's how it turned out. Even after Army retirement, I never thought at age 60 I'd be working this physically hard as I do each day - it's a mixed blessing with a curse built in.

I have come to the realization in life that you just keep plodding along, planning the best you can, but be ready for the unexpected. Secondly, the best things in life aren't where you are or where you're going, but the trip in between. Slow down and take the time to enjoy the trip. South of here is I-40, following old U.S. 66 (aka Route 66). It began in Chicago and ended in Los Angeles. The romance of that road wasn't the beginning or end, but what was in-between - the sights, the smells, the tourist traps, the small towns, the people........ I take this approach each day out in the heat and dust, trying to put the thought of market prices and herd decimating diseases out of my mind. The market sucks this year, drought has dried up the grass, and we are shipping directly to the processor this year. Worst year money wise in a long time, but we just keep plodding along. Here's a pic from this week herding cattle into shipping pens. No feedlot this year - we're going direct to the processor: