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Member
I want to give up but it would be incredibly selfish to my family. And it would also be devastating to the person who is scheduled to get a bone marrow donation from me in the near future. I just gotta find a way to temper my expectations of things. I can’t fail if I don’t set the bar high. But at the same time I feel like I was meant for more and it sucks when you’re extremely driven
Senior Member
Life is unpredictable. Whatever field you end up in, whether by choice or by accident, work hard and apply yourself at it, and you'll be surprised that something important and rewarding just shows up out of the blue one day. It may be years down the road, but it will happen. Even if the field seems obscure.Originally Posted by thepatriot2705
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So I seriously hope we are helping, but even if we are you really, really, really should talk to someone local. Might not need a shrink, but just talk to your GP. This could be a temporary blues thing, could be something that you just can't manage with will power alone. Don't take it as failure, weakness or any of that stupid crap...some people are compulsives but they can manage with help. Other people sometimes see everything black but they can manage with help.
Remember it's hard to see the entire big picture if you are in the center of it. It's difficult to be objective about life, when life is currently putting the screws to you. Seriously make an appointment to see your GP.
Don't know who you are, don't know about all of your situation, but if it's worth asking us then it's worth talking to someone who helps people with this sort of thing every week.
Nothing wrong with setting the bar high and having goals and expectations, but man life happens. But it ain't over yet, so long as you are breathing things can get better. Just because X didn't work out doesn't mean Y can't happen.
It's hard to be a ACLU hating, philosophically Libertarian, socially liberal, fiscally conservative, scientifically grounded, agnostic, porn admiring gun owner who believes in self determination.
Chuck, we miss ya man.
كافر
Moderator
It's definitely a struggle to recognize the difference between hopes and expectations. Hopes are desires that something good is going to happen. Expectations are beliefs that it's going to happen. That's where we can set ourselves up for disappointment, especially when we've worked so hard towards a certain goal.
Giving up on one of your dreams doesn't mean that you're giving up on yourself. Not one bit. If someone is getting a bone marrow donation from you, that shows that you're a good, courageous and giving person. Giving up on yourself would be selfish to you. You're capable of more than you feel right now. Much, much more. I don't know you at all, but I believe that of everyone.
I don't think that there's anything wrong with setting the bar high. You just have to be okay with not clearing it all the time, or never clearing it at all. Trying and failing is not the same as not trying at all. Of all the baskets and goals that are scored in sports, think of how many didn't make it in. Failing at something doesn't make you a failure. It just means you failed at something. That's all it means. And it's okay. It's to be expected if we try at something hard and challenge ourselves. Me, my wife and my son are all rock climbers, so we're used to falling 90% of the time. It just means that we're challenging ourselves. Sometimes we never top out on a route, and all we can say is that we gave it our darndest.
Failing is such an important part of life that failing reminds us that we're alive to try anew.
Senior Member
I don't know what your trying to do, and then fail at it.
Failure is a learning process in and of itself.
Edison failed hundreds of times on his way to inventing the light bulb.
Using me again, we failed in getting the contract for the security upgrades that we laid out in our report. But due to that failure, we took a step back and reassessed our process with clients. As a result,, I feel our success rate with potential clients will go up by a huge margin. So it was failure that is the key to future success.
What do you call a baseball player that can bat 300? A superstar. But wait he failed 70% of the time at bat.
What do you call a businessman that has a success rate of 1/3 of the businesses he opens are successful. A huge success. The guy I wrote about that the bike accident found the cancer, once told me he would be over joyed if he could lower his failure rate to 70%. He never has done anything as huge as his first business that made tons of money, but he has had lots of failure since then and some success since then. He is very highly thought of and is wealthy.
My father who built a successful business, told me it is the dreamers with courage to act on those dreams that build the world.
Don't give up, keep pushing. One day you will hit your first home run.
When I went from working for the government, to working for myself it was failure city. My company is a little over 18 months old. We spent big money to build a new idea up that involved travel, which we thought would give us passive 24/7 income. Then Corona hit, down to zero. Do I view this as a failure, nope. We have the infrastructure in place to kick this off once corona is over.
My buddy just lost a 25 year marriage, it lasted through him being deployed more than he was at home due to the unit he was in. 100% failure because his marriage was over. But he ran with it and has 2 hot girlfriends as I write this.
Never give up. Set real goals, start with small things and build up your confidence, then build the size of your goals. I know I will never be the richest man in the world, but that isn't my goal. But I know I will be in a position, that will be better than my parents were in.
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Stop concerning yourself with feeling. (I feel like)
Replace feeling with logic and reason.
You will eliminate drama and become stable and dependable. A rock.
You won't outvote the corruption.
Sic Semper Tyrannis
Senior Member
Great enlightenment in this book!
On of my favorite takeaways was “The Ballad of the Goodly Fere”
https://www.bartleby.com/265/295.html
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Last edited by BuzzinSATX; 09-27-20 at 07:38.
Senior Member
Yes!
The stronger I am in my walk with Christ, the more confidence I have with who I am and what constitutes success and failure. And it makes me a better husband, father, friend, and man.
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
Philippians 4:12-13 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage...13&version=NIV
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Last edited by BuzzinSATX; 09-27-20 at 07:39.
Banned
Read two books:
David Goggins: “Can’t Hurt Me”
and
Jordan Peterson: “12 Rules For Life”
Goggins will inspire you to have a toughness, a “failure Is not an option” strength. Peterson will teach you about the psychology /sociology behind a driven, dedicated mind.
Personally, IÂ’d also recommend trying a Meyers Briggs personality test. You may find that your brain isnÂ’t suited for the fields you e been trying to succeed in. If that ends up being the case, no wonder youÂ’ve struggled! Tests like that will help guide you toward the work fields that you have a better chance to thrive in. Just one small example: some people should NEVER work in a competitive environment; theyÂ’d be miserable.
WhatÂ’s your age?
Member
I was very hesitant to respond to this, but here goes. First, I found it odd for the OP to note this on a "gun forum", then realized M4C also, for lack of a better term, is a lifestyle, similar interests, support type of forum as well. Speaking with a professional, your family/primary care doc, as was mentioned, is a good start. Everyone, no matter how strong, skilled, intelligent, wealthy, etc does require 'help' on occasion. Life does beat the hell out of you, be it through divorce, death of a loved one, sudden unemployment, illness, goals not being met, unfortunate circumstances, whatever. Some, very few, can resolve the issues alone. The vast 99% really can not. Seeking aid from trusted family/friends, anonymous online support groups, telephone hotlines, or medical/psych professionals is a way of resolving the issue. Being thankful for the challenge is another. Get help, you will survive this "inconvenience", its temporary, it will pass, you will overcome this obstacle. To quote a line from the film Scarface, "any day above ground is a good day".
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