"Honey, you don't have to get me anything for Christmas this year"

[Jellybean]

Yup. Don't fall for it bro.

No, actually do it. Call her bluff on it.
Then when she is good and pissed, make sure that she subtly finds the thing you actually DID get her later in the day.
Every so often you gotta prove you are smarter than they are.

Her birthday and Christmas are 6 days apart.......
I guess it must have sucked having your birthday and Christmas that close together. I can picture someone telling the kid as they hand over ONE present: "This is for your birthday. Happy birthday! Oh, er, uh, this is for Christmas too! Yeah, Christmas too!"

Heh... you have no idea.
Dec 25/26 back to back.

[ABNAK]

No, actually do it. Call her bluff on it.
Then when she is good and pissed, make sure that she subtly finds the thing you actually DID get her later in the day.
Every so often you gotta prove you are smarter than they are.



Heh... you have no idea.
Dec 25/26 back to back.

Do you need to talk?



Sorry man, just kidding but I know it sucked and would've called people on it (you know, the unruly child!).

[Bulletdog]

I get her house cleaning and cooking supply stuff. She uses it well.

[Caduceus]

It's totally a trap.

Do it anyway.

See if she pulls that crap again.

[DG23]

Ever hear it?

It's a trap, isn't it?

One year my last wife actually wrapped up a rock for one of the boys. Kid was young and didn't know any better and actually bought her BS about Santa and and what he got 'bad' kids and started crying a bit. Damn woman kept a rock solid poker face for a good while and thought that crap was funny.

Uhh, No. When the kid started crying she should have immediately let him know it was a joke.


The following year I found a small box and very nicely gift wrapped a fairly large turd from our Doberman and stuck it under the tree for her. Tag said, 'From: Roxy - To: Mom'.

She was way beyond pissed off when she opened that one up but...

The one kid (that she pranked the year before) laughed so hard that he had a little pee come out and had to go change pj bottoms / underwear when it was all over.

[3 AE]

One year my last wife actually wrapped up a rock for one of the boys. Kid was young and didn't know any better and actually bought her BS about Santa and and what he got 'bad' kids and started crying a bit. Damn woman kept a rock solid poker face for a good while and thought that crap was funny.

Uhh, No. When the kid started crying she should have immediately let him know it was a joke.


The following year I found a small box and very nicely gift wrapped a fairly large turd from our Doberman and stuck it under the tree for her. Tag said, 'From: Roxy - To: Mom'.

She was way beyond pissed off when she opened that one up but...

The one kid (that she pranked the year before) laughed so hard that he had a little pee come out and had to go change pj bottoms / underwear when it was all over.

Now THAT is a Christmas story that warms my heart!

[3 AE]

My wife says it every year - it's a trap. Try to do something personal and thoughtful. For example, I had an ironing board cover bejeweled for my better half this year. I'm sure she will love it.

Andy

Sounds like you have a Death Wish! A bejeweled ironing board cover? Now that I think about it, that's pretty thoughtful in these "Uncertain Times". Following the "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle" mantra, I think I'll paint some flowers and elves on an empty .50 Caliber ammo can and give it to my wife as a jewelry box this Christmas!

[The_War_Wagon]

"Honey, you don't have to get me anything for Christmas this year"

That translates as, "2 week Viking River Cruise down the Danube," FYI.

[a1fabweld]

I got the ex wife a coffee mug one year.

She said “that’s all you got me?”

I responded “well yes. Throughout the year, every time we had sex, I put a few bucks aside for your Christmas present!” :-)

[Alex V]

I told my wife that because I bought NODs and a Zev OZ9c in November lol