My situation is hopeless

[ChattanoogaPhil]

A lot of folks lacking social skills find a home in over-the-road trucking.

[CPM]

The best thing you can do is go be of service to someone else. If it’s taking out the trash or washing dishes, go help someone else. It’s tough to bemoan your own existence when you’re focused on someone else.

[thepatriot2705]

A lot of folks lacking social skills find a home in over-the-road trucking.

I’ve done like 6500-7000 miles solo in 8 days storm chasing. OTR trucking would drive me nuts

[Circle_10]

Working memory is about average per Neuropsychology.
No paranoia. Absolutely zero health issues other than impaired auditory processing. My lack of conversation and personal skills kills me. If I could just have a normal conversation with someone, I would be the happiest guy on the planet.

As for not wanting help, I don’t think therapy can really help me know what to say. You can talk to me, but my answers are going to be extremely simple. Like a constant state of brain fog.
I’ve heard a lot of this advice in the past. I’ve tried getting involved, I’ve taken up hobbies, I stay busy. Nothing seems to work. People take one look at me and write me off. My primary hobby is seen as weird by most. I don’t really like talking about guns with people...(chasing tornadoes)

I have accepted my reality and will slug it out. I only made this post because I needed to vent about disappointing my mother. I don’t have one got damn friend and every time I think I’ve finally made one, I get ghosted.

As for pets, I have a cat who might as well be a dog when how annoying he is. Russian blues are stupid loyal.

Simple fact is, I still wake up everyday, work two jobs and am rebuilding a house and I plan on doing that until my natural expiration. I’m still here for a reason. After all I survived looking down the barrel of 6+ cops with their guns drawn on me while I was armed. (Long story, some may remember my post from nearly a decade ago)

I saw this bible verse not too long ago. “Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win”

I’m angry and pissed that I’m not running in a way to win the prize which in my mind is being happy and having joy. For me, that’s having a family, and a small group of close friends to enjoy life with.

Maybe try one of those international matchmaking services and get one of those foreign wives from the Philippines or something. Because honestly based on what you described, your life doesn’t sound all that shitty. It sounds like maybe you just need someone to share it with. Having your apparently disappointed mother as the only female interaction in your life seems like a one way ticket to Norman Bates-ville. My recommendation on the “mail order bride” sounds sketchy, but the fact is that you are correct, you are probably going to have issues meeting someone the “normal” way. An American woman might also be less tolerant of your quirks and may have expectations that you will struggle to meet.
There are plenty of horror stories with these foreign women of course, but as long as you do your due diligence (make sure she isn’t scamming like five other guys) and don’t turn into a spineless simp, you might be able to meet a decent match.
Is part of her motivation going to be getting tf out of her shithole country? Of course, but women have been marrying men to improve their lot in life since the beginning of time.

[AKDoug]

A lot of folks lacking social skills find a home in over-the-road trucking.

As long as it doesn't manifest in anger or suicidal issues, then maybe.

[SteyrAUG]

Working memory is about average per Neuropsychology.
No paranoia. Absolutely zero health issues other than impaired auditory processing. My lack of conversation and personal skills kills me. If I could just have a normal conversation with someone, I would be the happiest guy on the planet.

There are probably people who you can talk to about that. Maybe you have asperger's or something like that. You know you are smart enough to not fall for any of the new age / bs diagnosis's but you sound like you have some kind of "block" that is preventing you from otherwise accomplishing what is important.

Again, you need to seek out experts and talk to somebody. The alternative is constant disappointment for the rest of your life. Your situation isn't going to get fixed HERE. Neither mail order brides or hobbies is going to improve your stated inability to effectively communicate with people.

Obviously you can communicate your ideas here, so there is something else that is probably pretty significant at play. And it doesn't seem like you are going to figure out what that is on your own.

Even if you are just incredibly socially awkward and introverted, a simple support group probably exists and would likely improve your life dramatically. Problem is YOU have to go find help and do it by yourself.

[BradCMSP]

So my house is a nightmare. Mom was over today and about broke out in tears and wishes I would have some fun once in a while. Well, we got to talking and I spilled the beans about having an auditory processing disorder and the likely hood of me ever having friends was about zero.

She wants the best for me, but I continually fail. I don’t care but seeing her hurt because of my circumstances absolutely crushes me.

Truth be told, I wish I had never been born. Suicide is 100% wrong. I don’t know why. I didn’t ask to be brought into this world. It ****ing kills me seeing my mom unhappy because I’ve my shortcomings which I work so hard to address. It ****ing kills me even more because she wants to blame herself.

I end this post with this: **** the medical system. The medical system tired pushing me adderall as a kid. Turns out it’s not adhd, it’s an auditory processing disorder that mimics the symptoms of adhd. There would have been a slight hope to outgrow this if doctors considered it.

If you're anywhere near PA and you need someone to talk to, hit me up. Keep your chin up, don't let it define you.

[SomeOtherGuy]

Again, you need to seek out experts and talk to somebody. The alternative is constant disappointment for the rest of your life. Your situation isn't going to get fixed HERE. Neither mail order brides or hobbies is going to improve your stated inability to effectively communicate with people.

100% agree

Obviously you can communicate your ideas here, so there is something else that is probably pretty significant at play. And it doesn't seem like you are going to figure out what that is on your own.

Also 100%. OP's writing is just fine. Do you ever try interacting with people (besides here) by typing or any other non-audible format? What about learning sign language and making friends with other sign language users (deaf or not)? You have ideas, you can communicate them in this format, maybe you just work around the speech/auditory issue.

We're not going to solve your problem here. But you can figure out a better life if you just keep trying different paths and don't give up.

[thepatriot2705]

100% agree



Also 100%. OP's writing is just fine. Do you ever try interacting with people (besides here) by typing or any other non-audible format? What about learning sign language and making friends with other sign language users (deaf or not)? You have ideas, you can communicate them in this format, maybe you just work around the speech/auditory issue.

We're not going to solve your problem here. But you can figure out a better life if you just keep trying different paths and don't give up.

Even on tinder or text conversations, I can’t keep the conversation going. I don’t have a major problem talking about big things, but I can’t make worthless small talk to save my ass

[SteyrAUG]

Even on tinder or text conversations, I can’t keep the conversation going. I don’t have a major problem talking about big things, but I can’t make worthless small talk to save my ass

So it's not worthless. I couldn't begin to nail it down, maybe you have some behavior complication or maybe you are just terribly socially insecure or it could be any of a dozen other things. This is why you need to talk to somebody (at first some kind of therapist who probably specializes in depression issues) so you can find your way to somebody who understands what you are actually dealing with and you can get help and go from there.

But if you don't go get help, nothing is going to improve.