What Is the Stupidest LE Callout That You've Personally Seen Or Participated In...?

[Firefly]

Every day I ask myself what God sees in us that keeps him from reaching out and saying "Game Over, You ALL Lose"... but every so often I see something the other way that gives me an answer.

Ever see Prometheus? When the big alien dude just has it with the old man?

Like.... I get it

[chuckman]

Every day I ask myself what God sees in us that keeps him from reaching out and saying "Game Over, You ALL Lose"... but every so often I see something the other way that gives me an answer.

EMS, the military, tactical medic, ED nurse, ICU nurse... I've seen so much in 31 years. I don't know that I will ever know another good night's sleep. I just keep asking, in the end will it have been worth it all?

[T2C]

In the 1980's I was dispatched to a truck stop on a failure to pay call. When I arrived, a prostitute complained that a truck driver would not pay her after she performed oral sex. She was adamant that I should arrest the truck driver and said that she would give a full written statement.

The truck driver said the prostitute wasn't that good, so he refused to pay her. After the prostitute thought it over, she decided it would not be a good idea to provide a written statement that she committed an unlawful act and declined to pursue the matter any further. I suggested that both of them get their inoculation cards updated and cleared the scene with no report filed.

[mark5pt56]

We called them lot lizards

In the 1980's I was dispatched to a truck stop on a failure to pay call. When I arrived, a prostitute complained that a truck driver would not pay her after she performed oral sex. She was adamant that I should arrest the truck driver and said that she would give a full written statement.

The truck driver said the prostitute wasn't that good, so he refused to pay her. After the prostitute thought it over, she decided it would not be a good idea to provide a written statement that she committed an unlawful act and declined to pursue the matter any further. I suggested that both of them get their inoculation cards updated and cleared the scene with no report filed.

[Ready.Fire.Aim]

........
I had the hose out so I sprayed her with the hose as She ran to her car. I followed continuously soaking her through the open car window as she pulled out the drive.
So a Deputy shows up 40 minutes later and I explained, showed him the diaper and I explained the situation.
He laughed his ass off and got back in his cruiser and cruised.

Thanks for the best laugh I had today! Some script writer needs to work that into a movie.

[SteyrAUG]

My ex brought my Son home unexpectedly hours early on her visitation weekend one time. I was working on my front yard when She dropped him off.
To say his diaper was wet is an understatement, it was so soaked it was falling apart and the internals of the diaper were escaping when I held him.
I had the hose out so I sprayed her with the hose as She ran to her car. I followed continuously soaking her through the open car window as she pulled out the drive.
So a Deputy shows up 40 minutes later and I explained, showed him the diaper and I explained the situation.
He laughed his ass off and got back in his cruiser and cruised.

Open window? Yeah, she'd have gotten a wet diaper.

[C-grunt]

Way to many to even begin to think of the best. A few:

1. Call of a hot air balloon flying at night. Happens that I am driving on scene as the call comes out and I see this hot air balloon about 50 feet off the ground. I ask on the radio "is this even illegal"? A guy on my squad who was a pilot radios that it is in fact illegal as they dont have lights and other shit for night flying. I get on the PA system and tell the balloon that it needs to land. The balloon proceeds to turn on the flame thrower full blast and flies off into the night. I get back on the radio and say "It flew off, call the FAA or something, Im back in service"

2. Had a young man accidentally shoot himself in the head at a party playing the "Ill point the gun at my head, but dont worry the safety is on". Witnessed by multiple people. His friends, who werent there, decide that he was obviously murdered and started a blood fued with the other group at the party. Several drive by shootings proceed to happen over the next few months with multiple people getting shot. All over one guy being stupid with a pistol.

3. Had a local transient that used to huff gasoline from Gatorade bottles. One day he was gone and wasnt seen for months. My partner and I spot him one day at his usual bus stop huffing gasoline again. We stop and tak to him and he says he was at the hospital in a coma for the last several months. I asked him if it was because he was huffing gas and he says "No. I was over there in the wash huffing my gas, when a Gila Monster walked by. The venomous vapors of the Gila Monster got in my nose and put me in a coma".

[SteyrAUG]

Ever see Prometheus? When the big alien dude just has it with the old man?

Like.... I get it

You need a Mr. Pibb like right now.

EMS, the military, tactical medic, ED nurse, ICU nurse... I've seen so much in 31 years. I don't know that I will ever know another good night's sleep. I just keep asking, in the end will it have been worth it all?

Did you ever manage to help, save or rescue anyone? If so, that's your answer. My brother saw a lot of shit but a guy who had a head shot but survived brought his parents in one day to meet the doctor who worked on him from field to drop off at surgical center. I have to remind him from time to time.

[M4Fundi]

Two hoodies broke into a liquor warehouse to steal liquor, but decided to have a "tasting" at the warehouse instead of grabbing the booze and leaving and got so drunk they both passed out on top of what had to be a 14' stacking of pallets of liquor. We could barely wake them up to arrest them! Darwin Award at its best!

[DG23]

A few years back was cruising down the highway speeding a 'little' but nothing way too crazy. Was pretty much just keeping up with the regular flow of traffic.

I see blue lights a good ways back (heading in my direction) and traffic was somewhat heavy so I sped up a little. No joy losing this cop in the traffic. He was determined and getting closer every second so I sped up a little more and started doing a little weaving trying to shake him off...

Did absolutely no good as this guy was on my ass in NO time at all. Once I knew for sure he was close enough to have got my tag info (and knowing I was screwed) I went ahead and pulled over.

I watched in the side mirror as he approached my drivers side window and could tell he was PISSED. Had the window down by the time he got up there and yup, he was pissed. He said (through gritted teeth), 'Sir, You better have a damn good reason for speeding up when I lit your ass up or you are going for a ride you will NOT enjoy'.

I looked him right in the eyes and calmly told him, 'My girl left me a few weeks back and tied up with a cop. Bitch even sent me pictures that he took of her while she was doing 'stuff' to him and wearing his officer hat so I am pretty sure that she was not BS'ing and that she was in fact boinking a cop'.

Officer said, 'What in the hell has that got to do with you speeding up when I turned on my lights instead of pulling over right away?'.

'I thought YOU were the cop she had been boinking, had figured out what a nutcase she was and was trying to somehow make me take the bitch back. If you ARE him, You better go on and take me to jail cause I am not about to fool with that crazy ass woman ever again. She is YOUR problem now'.


Only other time I got away with doing dumb shit behind the wheel was blamed on the dog stepping on my junk cause she saw a plastic bag float by outside my window and was trying to get it. Made me floor the car taking off and such.