What Is the Stupidest LE Callout That You've Personally Seen Or Participated In...?

[SteyrAUG]

2nd, dumb and funny

Alarm at a sandwich shop.

We get there no signs of forced entry, walk around shop with the owner, nothing. I started hearing a faint sound, later realized someone was mumbling. Took a moment to find the barely visible bottoms of shoes hanging inside the exhaust vent over the grill. This clown removed the roof vent, tried to slide down and is now wedged in the vent and strattling the halon device. Of course we laughed the entire time the FD cut, chop, destroyed the roof and vent to pull him out. Somehow this guys story ends up in the paper and of course him winning about us laughing. He complained to the paper and not IA and in those days, Sgt asked me if we were laughing when inquiry came in and laughed when we said yes we did laugh the entire time. The guy was a dumbass, second arrest for the same thing.

Later-the one where I ran over somebody--going to fish

I swear I remember reading about that or someone else who pulled the same stupid shit.

[mark5pt56]

I swear I remember reading about that or someone else who pulled the same stupid shit.

well, it was 1990 or 91? SE Va. Actually it seems to be a somewhat regular occurrence

[SteyrAUG]

More than enough and they almost all ended with “Yo you can’t arrest me. I’m the one who called y’all!”

Which goes back to: Quit calling the police and figure it out for yourself.
Not your bouncers, babysitters, bodyguards, nor marriage counselors.

It's worse than that, public servant. Now get out there and protect and serve. You work for me, I pay taxes.

Over and over and over. I’m not here to raise your kid, or give you marriage counseling.

But it takes a village. You are a member of the village are you not? Why would you arrest my chillun' when you could be helping them be knowing a better way? You just a mean ass popo.

[SteyrAUG]

well, it was 1990 or 91? SE Va. Actually it seems to be a somewhat regular occurrence

That seems to be around the time I remember reading about it. But could have sworn it was related to me by BSO, which is also possible.

[chuckman]

The funniest: JTF (local PD, FBI, and DEA) got intel on a known deal that was going to be on X block at X time. I was a medic on the SWAT team, and although a certified LEO I was only certified and a LEO because I was the medic on the team. Anyhoo, we were going to 'ambush' at a given time, zero dark thirty, when he was going to be visiting his baby mama. We're all snug in the panel van, los federales had the long eye on surveillance. We hear "go, go, go!" and bust out of that van, and we take down... an old lady who had her dog out to poop. Never did see or find said dealer.

The Oscar for the most planning and logistics that never was needed goes to a house raid for a high-risk warrant. Detectives from our PD obtained a warrant for a very bad dude and briefed the SWAT team leadership (I was always in the briefings so I could plan medical). We go back to brief the team, minus a couple guys who weren't there, and whom we were going to "get caught up" enroute the next day when we execute the warrant with the detectives. We plan into the evening, have a PACE plan, back-ups, we look at house pictures, go over angles and cover (the guy had been known to shoot at cops). We meet at whatever time the next morning, go over to stage a block away or so. One of the guys who was not at the briefing asked, "so who is the guy we're taking down?" We tell him. He says something like, "oh for crying out loud..." When we park, he gets out, takes off his kit, walks up to the door and knocks: "Hey, Bubba (or whatever his name was).... it's Leon, your cousin. Get yo ass out here so we can take you to jail.... you wanna get my mom to call your mom?" Ol' Bubba walks to the door, turns around, allows Leon to cuff him, Leon puts him in the car.

[1168]

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[chuckman]

Methed out fat dude stabbed the Chief of a small rural town, in the face with like a screwdriver or something crazy. Like, found his house and knocked on the door then went nutso. Went home and hid in his trailer. Said crazy meth things when caught.

What's that commercial? Red Bull gives you wings? Meth makes you feel like you are the Incredible Hulk.

[1168]

What's that commercial? Red Bull gives you wings? Meth makes you feel like you are the Incredible Hulk.

Edit 2: I’m not very funny, so I removed the joke.
Edit: that’s a joke.

[Averageman]

My ex brought my Son home unexpectedly hours early on her visitation weekend one time. I was working on my front yard when She dropped him off.
To say his diaper was wet is an understatement, it was so soaked it was falling apart and the internals of the diaper were escaping when I held him.
I had the hose out so I sprayed her with the hose as She ran to her car. I followed continuously soaking her through the open car window as she pulled out the drive.
So a Deputy shows up 40 minutes later and I explained, showed him the diaper and I explained the situation.
He laughed his ass off and got back in his cruiser and cruised.

[tgizzard]

My ex brought my Son home unexpectedly hours early on her visitation weekend one time. I was working on my front yard when She dropped him off.
To say his diaper was wet is an understatement, it was so soaked it was falling apart and the internals of the diaper were escaping when I held him.
I had the hose out so I sprayed her with the hose as She ran to her car. I followed continuously soaking her through the open car window as she pulled out the drive.
So a Deputy shows up 40 minutes later and I explained, showed him the diaper and I explained the situation.
He laughed his ass off and got back in his cruiser and cruised.

Glad I never knocked up one of the crazy ones. Can’t imagine dealing with that baby momma drama.


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