Had it with Garden Hoses

[FromMyColdDeadHand]

I have continuously fought my garden hoses. I’ve tried ‘reel’ type and basket type storage. I went high end with the most expensive hoses that Home Depot carried that seem high quality. But I still fight the hoses when it comes to deploying and storing them. I had spool/reel type storage, but I was always having to use one hand to hold it down, another hand to crank it, and a third hand to manage kinks and twists. I tried the basket type organizers and the same issues with kinks and twists.

Forget those shriveled d**k hoses that collapse- they get more leaks than a gold-diggers condom.

I have the ‘rubber’ type hoses that work a bit better, they don’t hold shape like the cheap plastic ones, but they still kink and twist.

I have a brick house, so I can mount a spool/reel and get rid of that instability. I also need maybe max 100 feet, probably closer to 75 feet. We have OK water pressure, but I think I need to stick to 1/2-3/4 inch (standard) hose.

Any thoughts? I started googling and I saw Eley (not 22lr I asssume) spools at $200. I’m not afraid of dropping some coin on this. My wife throws a bitch fest everytime she has to use the hose. Do they make fire hose construction level hoses for homes?

I’m a total Hoosier, I love in the evening sitting in my front yard in a chair with a beer and spot water my lawn and plants.

[Leaveammoforme]

I think this is a struggle that every man needs to figure out on his own.

I finally bought a "big boy" hose like you mentioned a little over a year ago. Want to say 75 feet for $75. Aluminium ends with long stress relief springs and "kink free". It hangs from one of those things that screws to the side of the house.

Hanger is mounted high (at around shoulder level) with hose hanging within a couple inches of the ground to avoid small loops in the hose. Smalls loops will put a memory in the hose allowing it to tangle easier.

I'll be damned if the aluminum end didn't corrode to the brass siphon valve last winter. Dis-simular metals, electrons and what not. Had to end up dremeling off the siphon valve from the spigot.

Thought I had it all figured out and now my hose has a $1 dollar store hose repair end on it.

[Brasilnuts]

Not trying to be a asshole, but it sounds to me like you need to learn the proper way to deploy and coil your hose. Years ago I worked for a company that cleaned fire boxes/boilers and many other parts of coal fired steam plants. We used fire hose, Chicago hose, 1” braided hose, 3/4” braided…. you get the picture. We would sometimes stretch multiple lines over 1000’ and 10 stories up the side of a building.

We rolled out and coiled up hose every day.
A few things I learned quickly.

1) Always roll the hose out to its full length untwisting it as you go then hook it to the water supply for use.
2) When you’re done, disconnect the hose from the water supply, stretch the hose out twist as needed to get any twists out, then coil it on the ground twisting with thumb and pointer finger as you go to get a flat coil.

I use this method with any water hose and a similar method with air hoses and extension cords.

It’s more work, but it makes for less frustrating work.

[GH41]

Sorta parallels what Brasilnuts says but different. I have 3 hose bibs on my house each with a plastic hanger mounted about 3-4 feet high. When I get done I stretch out the hose away from the spigot and take the nozzle I was using off to drain as I roll it up taking any twist out as I go. Maybe 5-6 turns on the hanger for a 50' hose. The hoses I have do have aluminum fittings but I use Gilmor plastic quick connects on both ends of the hose and all devices I have. Typing this took longer than retrieving the hose. Maybe 2 minutes max. The hoses came from Lowes.

[Honu]

Having worked on boats for 15 years you learn how to use hoses and coil them with a turn that goes backwards then forwards makes it never kink and easy to manage etc... keeps the hose from rotating basically and always lays flat

For sure a learning curve and the reels and such are worthless

[1_click_off]

I had the best hose ever. It was a gift. When I was working some 90hr weeks my father in law decided to cut my grass for me and he cut my hose up too. I have no idea what brand it was, but it held its shape pressured up or empty.

I roll mine charged with a nozzle closed on the end with a hose reel. This allows the hose to roll itself around and not kink. It also makes it easy to guide onto the reel and roll on nice and smooth and tight. Once it is reeled up I turn the water off and then crack the nozzle open to slowly bleed the pressure off.

If it is getting reeled on or off, I have it charged. This has worked just fine for me.

[jsbhike]

Not trying to be a asshole, but it sounds to me like you need to learn the proper way to deploy and coil your hose. Years ago I worked for a company that cleaned fire boxes/boilers and many other parts of coal fired steam plants. We used fire hose, Chicago hose, 1” braided hose, 3/4” braided…. you get the picture. We would sometimes stretch multiple lines over 1000’ and 10 stories up the side of a building.

We rolled out and coiled up hose every day.
A few things I learned quickly.

1) Always roll the hose out to its full length untwisting it as you go then hook it to the water supply for use.
2) When you’re done, disconnect the hose from the water supply, stretch the hose out twist as needed to get any twists out, then coil it on the ground twisting with thumb and pointer finger as you go to get a flat coil.

I use this method with any water hose and a similar method with air hoses and extension cords.

It’s more work, but it makes for less frustrating work.

Was that a company that blasted clinkers off the boiler tubes too?

[SteyrAUG]

First, don't mount anything to your house.

Second, don't buy any plastic shit from Home Depot.

Get some 2x4s and fabricate a free standing garden hose caddy. You only need a couple arms 18 to 24 inches long and about a foot apart to coil your hose around the arms. Basically a saw horse design with a support arm on each side. Nice open design so your caddy doesn't become a spider den.

Simple obvious things, make sure the hose is OFF before you try and coil it. Make sure any sprayer is OPEN when you turn the hose off so you aren't coiling and uncoiling the hose under pressure.

Do that and any quality hose will last you years. Biggest hose killer is turning water off but leaving a sprayer closed and keeping the hose under pressure for days at a time.

[AKDoug]

I use the Zero G pro hoses and their regular hose and I've yet to have one leak. Hell, my guys have one that they roll out to feed our Hotsy to wash heavy equipment every day and it's still alive after 2 years. At our house we need 250' to get some of our stuff down and they are used regularly with no issues. I'm never going back to a regular vinyl or rubber hose. We just have a small Rubbermaid trash can we drop it into like a rope bag.

[Brasilnuts]

Double tap