Starting over post 40

[donlapalma]

The biggest lesson I have learned, and one that I am working very hard on teaching my kids, is that time is the most precious commodity we have.

Since losing my mom to COVID-19 in February, I've been thinking about "time" a whole lot and this part of your post hits home for me right now. I'm getting started later in life in 2 major ways (marriage and kids) and there is just much more to lose now. More than anything, I want to spend time and be present - physically and mentally - with my wife and soon-to-be-born son. Climbing the corporate ladder just doesn't mean that much to me anymore. I know I will find my way, especially since my wife is amazing and will support me whatever I decide.

[donlapalma]

I did. Didn't go so well since I'm "abandoning" the company when they "need" me the most. Even after explaining my health concerns (and specifically what's causing them... namely the job itself) the question was still asked "can't you stay until the end of November?". Funny thing? One of my corporate contacts told me about a position he'd been eyeballing me for in business development and tried to move on several months ago. Apparently, my boss had been sitting on trying to find my replacement until after football season even though there was sufficient time (like back in May timeframe) to find the replacement prior to starting the season. Which, of course, "after football" would turn into after basketball season and then after the spring football and graduations and then the PGA tournament... so on and so forth. I.E. he was never going to look since we are perpetually busy.

Not only that, I'd still be stuck doing exactly what I've been doing for the last 15 months like some insane Groundhog Day.

It'll be a chilly two weeks, but I really don't care. At this point, I'm perfectly okay with moving forward and starting over. I was apprehensive, but my lady-friend and I talked it over last night and we both recognize the need for me to move on even if I do take a serious pay cut.

Well congratulations for getting that done and taking that first huge step. I'm sure everything will work out just fine.

[Grand58742]

Well, my last day was Friday and I cleared out my office yesterday. Said my goodbyes to friends I've made over the course of seven years in the form of emails and personal phone calls to those who really had an impact. I really had an overwhelmingly positive response to leaving as most were understanding and wished me well in the future and to "keep in touch." Got my final call (and one that meant the most for me honestly) yesterday and was told "there's always a seat for you here if you come back."

I didn't leave in bridge burning fashion as I did want to keep the avenue open in the future and I didn't hold ill will to anyone really. Apparently, the company does some "independent contracting" for certain events and I already got invited to two of those. Not sure how I feel about a three week gig for Coachella, but it's on the table.

Leaving wasn't as bad as I thought. Now, getting employed is the next logical step.

[1986s4]

Well, my last day was Friday and I cleared out my office yesterday. Said my goodbyes to friends I've made over the course of seven years in the form of emails and personal phone calls to those who really had an impact. I really had an overwhelmingly positive response to leaving as most were understanding and wished me well in the future and to "keep in touch." Got my final call (and one that meant the most for me honestly) yesterday and was told "there's always a seat for you here if you come back."

I didn't leave in bridge burning fashion as I did want to keep the avenue open in the future and I didn't hold ill will to anyone really. Apparently, the company does some "independent contracting" for certain events and I already got invited to two of those. Not sure how I feel about a three week gig for Coachella, but it's on the table.

Leaving wasn't as bad as I thought. Now, getting employed is the next logical step.

Good luck in this new phase of life. I was post 50 when the life I was leading came to a sudden and sad end. I didn't burn any bridges, they were burned for me and to no avail I tried to put out the fires. Things weren't great for a few years but they did turn around and now... Wow! I am so fortunate.
Keep an open mind, stay flexible and you will land on your feet.

[AndyLate]

Good luck in this new phase of life. I was post 50 when the life I was leading came to a sudden and sad end. I didn't burn any bridges, they were burned for me and to no avail I tried to put out the fires. Things weren't great for a few years but they did turn around and now... Wow! I am so fortunate.
Keep an open mind, stay flexible and you will land on your feet.

I am very close to being in the same position, except I will be walking across a 1 way bridge sans fire. I am making more money than I have in my life but really do not enjoy walking in the door any more. A lot of things have changed with my company since I started there, and I am frankly starting to wonder why I fought to stay as long as I have.

Andy

[tgizzard]

Not quite 40 yet, but with all the craziness of the past couple years my wife and I realized life is too short to settle. We close on the sale of our house on the 10th and come this spring we’re out of our current AO down to where we really want to be.

Between how my company is treating its “unvaxxed” employees, to the push up here by the schools to inject our children with that crap, to basically settling in regards to living behind enemy lines for jobs, it ain’t worth it and we’ve finally realized that.


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[Grand58742]

Things I'm learning so far in my job hunt...

1. That college degree is a major point in filling out applications. Even with a "useless" degree, it sure helps to have that on your resume.

1A. Qualifications only take you so far without it. I've got qualifications for most of the jobs I've applied for, but without that degree setting me apart, it's not easy to get that foot in the door to impress during an interview.

2. Job site like Indeed and others are making it harder to hire to an extent. Everyone and their dog can send in a resume with no intent of really wanting the job and it clutters the end user. I was told during a phone interview the actual "answer" rate of outbound phone calls to applicants is like 25% or so. But that takes time to hunt down the "good" prospective candidates.

2A. Some employers don't even check or update their ads on those jobs sites... not fun trying to sort the wheat from the chaff.

3. Do your research on the company you're applying for. Yeah, I flubbed one interview up because I didn't look deep enough into the company.

4. You need 28 pounds of patience when waiting for that phone call or email... I'm getting there.

[The_War_Wagon]

As the wise philosopher Sinatra said, "regrets, I have a few, then again, too few to mention..."

I have a friend who was an ED doc at UNC-CH and chair of admissions at their SOM. When I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do, the debate was nursing vs med school. He said based on my MCAT and GPA he could get me into med school easy peasy. I chose nursing (age, kids, couple of other factors). I mostly don't regret it, but sometimes I do. Good luck!

God bless you. Never realized howmuch nurses keep hospitals in business until my stroke. i wantedto marry one each shift. and maybe a coule here at rehab.

[Grand58742]

Well, my search is finally over. I'll be starting soon with an emergency management company out here in OK doing recruiting as soon as my drug screening comes back. Slight pay cut on the top end over what I was making, but they seem to be growing pretty rapidly and I'm on the front end of that expansion so there's a potential for growth in that area.

But most importantly, they seem to be fast paced and make decisions quickly. I literally did an initial interview less than an hour and a half after I dropped my resume, did a follow up interview a few hours later with my new section chief, the ops manager and the CEO and received an offer letter by 4 PM that very same day at the salary I requested. Less than 24 hours from interviewed to hired.

One thing is certain though, I will be completing my degree regardless. I've found out the hard way it really gets you in the door as a minimum in many places. Something I should have rectified in my time in the service when it was free (or close to free) but certainly will be fixed now.

With a lot of people moving around, there are a lot of jobs available. But at the same time, there are a lot of applicants for those same jobs and competition is tough.

[SeriousStudent]

Good luck, dude. I know you will do great!

Thanks for posting your career-seeking advice here. I end up coaching a lot of my minions at work regarding career decisions. I also talk a lot to people outside my own org. Every thing you said pretty much rings true in my own field (Information Security).

Let us know how the new gig works out.