I agree. A woman has no problem controlling recoil if she uses good technique. Main thing is avoiding the high brass loads, as they hurt. The main issue with women and just short people in general with shotguns is the LOP is too long and the forend is too reachy on the pumps, so they lean back and don't get behind it, which results in stung shoulders. A youth model 12ga 870 might fit her nicely though. They have the extended forends, which help a lot when you have a small wingspan. You could go 20ga, but I think she'll do fine with low brass 12ga, and 20 just makes getting hits so much harder. 20ga buckshot is also generally high brass 3" shells, so the recoil might be the same in the end.
I don't think 00 buck is too much. It's a 55gr pellet doing roughly the speed of sound from low brass, so I wouldn't necessarily want to go with anything less. Single ought and #1 aren't as easy to find either since they're somewhat niche.
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