Let’s talk about narcissism

[eightmillimeter]

Who here gets this, or been through it? I’m in the middle of a bloody divorce. 5 kids involved.

I started talking with a pro psychologist in July and he said something that changed my life. He said “she’s gaslighting you man.”

I didn’t think anything of it the day, but a few days later my life changed. Did a simple google search and then all of a sudden the last 12 years of my life unraveled.

My pending ex is a covert or malignant narcissistic sociopath and has been living different lives with every person she was ever involved.

Just trying to keep my kids safe from her manipulation…. Anyone here got a tip or two to relate to this nightmare?

[Buncheong]

Been through it, survived it. My suggestions as follows:

1. Your life is hard right now. It will get harder, and the hard times will last for a few years. Accept it. But also know that this period is temporary, it will pass, and your life will improve, dramatically.

2. Take stock of your finances and cut back hard, right now. It's austerity time: subscriptions, guns, off-road toys, whatever you have: sell, sell, sell. You're going to need zero debt and a large cash reserve to see you through to the other side.

3. Do NOT self-medicate: NO booze, NO drugs, NO naked girls. You're going to have some bad days, really dark days. Don't make things worse by trying to mask the negative feelings. Take the pain, knowing it WILL pass.

Please PM if needed, I will respond.

Hang in there, brother, and hang on: You're gonna make it.

[gaijin]

Yes. There are "wives" out there that fit your description. I had one and went through similar.
At risk of sounding like a Dork; I remained true to myself, did the "right thing(s)" and got through it, even was given custody of kid.
Bunch is correct.
You can always get "more stuff".

Hang
Fukking
Tough

[markm]

To echo buncheong... it's a tough path but once you've unloaded this piece of shit and taken a few years to rebuild, it will be great.

WTF does gaslighting mean by the way?

[HKGuns]

Who here gets this, or been through it? I’m in the middle of a bloody divorce. 5 kids involved.

I started talking with a pro psychologist in July and he said something that changed my life. He said “she’s gaslighting you man.”

I didn’t think anything of it the day, but a few days later my life changed. Did a simple google search and then all of a sudden the last 12 years of my life unraveled.

My pending ex is a covert or malignant narcissistic sociopath and has been living different lives with every person she was ever involved.

Just trying to keep my kids safe from her manipulation…. Anyone here got a tip or two to relate to this nightmare?

Been through it and you have to think of the kids, not yourself first. I wasn't dealing with a sociopath, so not sure what is best for the kids in that scenario. Generally, it is better the parents act like adults and not stab the other in the back whenever the kids are around, no matter how bad things get.

Remember, as hard as it is on you, it is even harder on the kids who don't understand everything happening.

I too echo everything Bunchie advised already.

[Hush]

Don't Google "how do you stop a body from decomposing" like that guy from Massachusetts with the missing wife.

Sent from my SM-A326U using Tapatalk

[Buncheong]

WTF does gaslighting mean by the way?

"Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which a person or group causes someone to question their own sanity, memories, or perception of reality. People who experience gaslighting may feel confused, anxious, or as though they cannot trust themselves."

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/gaslighting

[AndyLate]

"Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which a person or group causes someone to question their own sanity, memories, or perception of reality. People who experience gaslighting may feel confused, anxious, or as though they cannot trust themselves."

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/gaslighting

Thank you

Andy

[WillBrink]

Good advice here already. In tough/dark times, speaking with psych pro can be not just helpful, but essential. Buddy of mine going through similar after walking in on her banging the trainer she'd asked for...

I don't have experience as it applies to ex narcissism, plenty in other areas, both parents were toxic narcissists. Neither were bad/evil people, just F-ed in the head.

Remember that you love your kids more than you hate her/each other under all circumstances. Try to get her to see/agree same and move forward based on that premise. It's very easy to go down an ugly direction, and never forget, lawyers make $ when you fight. I come from a family full of lawyers.

You may have to eat some chit that tastes really bad that is ultimately best for your kids.

[FromMyColdDeadHand]

Blah, blah, blah. Let’s talk about me,