Killin' Machine

[Averageman]

Part of this could also be the realization that for the next several years you may be dealing with criminal, administrative, and civil hearings, no matter how open and shut the case is.

Some part of me beleives this might be true.
I have a Brother that's a Single Dad with three kids at home. He retired as an E-8 and went to work as a local Sherriff's Depuity. It's a small Community is Southern Arizona, but it is very political. I worry about him there, because they've thrown more than one guy under the Bus in the past.

I spent all my time in Combat Arms, did the do in the first Gulf War and put four rings on my gun tube. Shooting Tanks, PC's or Arty Pieces never bothered me and yes, they were manned.
I did however shoot a guy with my M-2 from the Commandeer Coupla, that occasionally visits my bad dreams. I can promise you I never cried for that guy, but I think about that MF'er specifically from time to time. He kind of came apart like a dropped cracker.

You have to get past it though and lead a life, I mean that's why you came back right?
Wife, Kids, House, Family?
I was lucky, I stayed in the Army for another 9 years and retired, so I was surrounded by guys who were going through the same thing.
You just have to learn that life is more than the past, it's about your future

[Averageman]

Doubled.

[lowprone]

Men have been living with their past lives forever, some more successfully than others.
Time heals most all wounds !

[SteyrAUG]

Part of this could also be the realization that for the next several years you may be dealing with criminal, administrative, and civil hearings, no matter how open and shut the case is.

Really good point, not to mention being judged by friends, family and media who think your stress levels indicate guilt.

[Averageman]

Men have been living with their past lives forever, some more successfully than others.
Time heals most all wounds !

And Whiskey heals the others.

[T2C]

A buddy told me of an LE shooting where it was a NO BRAINER use of lethal force where the cop went and cried about it. WTF?

There is a big difference between zapping some OSA that you encounter while on active duty abroad and putting rounds in someone here in CONUS. There is stress involved in both, but taking the life of someone in your community could cause you more stress, regardless of their perceived value based on their conduct and criminal history.

Criminal prosecution and civil liability are secondary considerations.

[Averageman]

There is a big difference between zapping some OSA that you encounter while on active duty abroad and putting rounds in someone here in CONUS. There is stress involved in both, but taking the life of someone in your community could cause you more stress, regardless of their perceived value based on their conduct and criminal history.

Criminal prosecution and civil liability are secondary considerations.

Here's the thing, you live in the community and you so as an individlal you as an individual might be able to handle the Heat, but how about your wife? Your Kids, their Daycare, the gardener, pool tech, etc?
A lot of heat from these things seems to radiate heat before the whole story is ever told.
Even after the story is told, you better hope you didn't get thrown under the bus by inuendo or outright liars in order to keep the peace in a small town.

[FromMyColdDeadHand]

Really good point, not to mention being judged by friends, family and media who think your stress levels indicate guilt.

Crap, that is something that I never even thought of. If anything I’d think someone actually ‘guilty’ would NOT exhibit much. Outside of of some personal variance, I’d assume the more affected, the worse the event that caused the effect.

[SteyrAUG]

Crap, that is something that I never even thought of. If anything I’d think someone actually ‘guilty’ would NOT exhibit much. Outside of of some personal variance, I’d assume the more affected, the worse the event that caused the effect.

The more decent a person you are, the more you second guess your own actions. Literal sociopaths like Hillary don't even remember all the evil shit they do.

I can think of a dozen cops off the top of my head who HAD to shoot somebody to save lives and it f'ed them up for life. They couldn't stop second guessing themselves no matter how much they talked to a therapist. Lots of their social circles who don't understand the first damn thing about being a cop either distanced themselves because the situation was uncomfortable (which made them feel even more like they did something wrong) or just decided "he has a case of the guilties" and then they think about every mistake that person made in their entire life and think they see a pattern of wrong doing. Never mind that the guy on his worst day doesn't even come close to some of the shit the people who were judging him have done.

When there is a process in place where you have to justify everything you do, you start from a position of "prove you are innocent, prove you didn't make any mistakes." I understand why it is like that, but it's one hell of a thing to sit in that chair. Right from the gate they begin from a position that the person who was trying to kill "cops, kids, anyone in the room" was a person whose life was somehow more important than yours and you have to 100% justify taking it.

Add in attorney's for the surviving family who can make a guy who saved girl scouts from a serial killer second guess his actions and lots of really decent people fall apart. The guy who is your attorney as often as not, is from some LE association and while he is defending you he is also being extremely cautious to not anchor his career to your experience and if he even thinks it might go bad he will recommend some BS deal that isn't in your best interest regardless of how completely justified the shooting may have been.

[1168]

And Whiskey heals the others.

Just remember that poison and medicine are close cousins, separated by dose, and booze has a narrow therapeutic index. A lot of great men have lost a lot to that one.