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Thread: My world upside down and things I have learned.

  1. #1
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    My world upside down and things I have learned.

    Yep, I know a strange title but unfortunately as of 0630 hours on April 27th that is exactly what happened. I woke up as normal and observed the bathroom light on but didn't think anything of it. My wife had a habit of forgetting to turn the light off after she left the bathroom. As I went to the kitchen to make coffee for the morning I knocked on the girls doors to get them up for school. I let the dog out and got the coffee going. After the pot had half filled I poured two cups and headed back to the bedroom. I called out to my wife and didn't get an answer which was weird. I put the cup down on the dresser and looked into the bathroom and that when my world turned upside down. I saw my wife on the floor in an unnatural position. The cop in me went not good and the husband in me did what anyone would do. I tried to get her to move by shaking her and calling her name. After the fourth time my oldest came in and also did the same thing. At which point I had my youngest call her best friend who lives less than a mile away, My oldest called 911 and I grabbed the portable and called dispatch. Within a few minutes I had EMS there and they confirmed what the cop in me knew but the husband was afraid to admit. Law enforcement arrived a few minutes later and told me what I had already knew. The bad thing is the deputy who had to tell me I had trained and he knew my family. As more deputies showed up they began to handle business but this one was different. She had worked for the same agency prior to retiring to be a nurse so many who showed up had also worked with her.

    That was ten days ago. Three days ago we had a service and I did not know how many people she had touched in her life. One of her patient's took an Uber to go to the service. Many of her friends who I knew but even more showed up who I did not know. Today, the last of my family left and headed home so it is just me and my two daughters in the house.

    I have been blessed with a solid family on both sides and a few good friends. Without two of our friends I would not have known what to do since I was in the box. One took off work and the other who I work with was told her priority was the needs of my family.

    After talking to my wife's best friend who was a dispatcher prior to becoming a nurse we believe she had a massive heart attack. She had all the classic signs to include her neck and head hurting. She had a few other which included a bloody nose which was so far up she should have gone to the ED to get it looked at and there were constant blown blood vessels in her right eye. She kept telling both her friend and I she needed to make a doctor's appointment but she never did. Unfortunately, she was strong willed so me forcing her to go would not work but if she observed the same things we saw coming from me she'd had me in the ED quick.

    My wife and I had gone to celebrating my promotion to sergeant a week prior and now I have become a single father of two teenaged daughters. Thankfully my wife and I had done a great job in raising them and I do not have a lot of the problems others have with their children.

    What I have learned over the last 10 days. Know where all the screen names and passwords are. Know where the insurance information is stashed. I had gone through a filing cabinet in the last year and at least had all of it in one place. There are many thing you think matter but in reality they don't. I have watched a few get upset at some of the most petty stuff and is out of their control. Your dreams for the future can be gone in a blink.

    I can't tell you the number of calls I have worked which were very similar and treated it as nothing more than a call for service. Unfortunately I know the toll this can cause inside the house. The worst thing is I knew what needed to be done since I had been to so many of these types of calls but looking inside the box from outside. This one was different since I was inside the box.

    Sorry it is so long but I couldn't get it any shorter.


    Daniel
    Support your local Deputy.

    It is better to sweat in Training than Bleed in Battle.


    www.usnst.org

  2. #2
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    Dang dude, I'm so sorry for your loss.

    Sent from my Pixel 3 using Tapatalk

  3. #3
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    It breaks my heart to hear this. Thanks for sharing- and how awesome are you that you first instinct is to pass along info that might help others. Good luck with your girls, it sounds like you have them on a good path.
    The Second Amendment ACKNOWLEDGES our right to own and bear arms that are in common use that can be used for lawful purposes. The arms can be restricted ONLY if subject to historical analogue from the founding era or is dangerous (unsafe) AND unusual.

    It's that simple.

  4. #4
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    I'm so sorry to hear that. My condolences, and wishes for you and your daughters going forward.

    I have a friend who experienced basically the same thing about six months ago; his wife didn't wake up Saturday morning, she had died overnight; she was only in her 40's and there were no warning signs. The healing process will take a long time. Be as patient as you can be with yourself and your kids.

  5. #5
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    I know I don't have the words.
    It's hard to be a ACLU hating, philosophically Libertarian, socially liberal, fiscally conservative, scientifically grounded, agnostic, porn admiring gun owner who believes in self determination.

    Chuck, we miss ya man.

    كافر

  6. #6
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    I'm sorry to read of the loss of your wife, that is horrible for anyone to have to go through.

    Keep an eye on your daughters, I know you said they were raised right, but they could be really hurting inside at the loss of their mom and might need you to be there for them.

  7. #7
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    My condolences. I cant imagine what youre going through but wish you and your family peace.

  8. #8
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    Very similar situation. My best friends wife had a stroke in the kitchen and hit her head on the granite counter top on the way to the floor.
    I can't imagine your pain. You have my deepest condolences.

  9. #9
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    So sorry to hear of your loss. Please accept my sincere condolences. Speaking from experience, allow yourself to grieve, then dust yourself off and keep on keeping on. Take care of those girls.

  10. #10
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    I am sorry for your loss and praying for comfort for you and yours. You handled things excellently and logically. You will see her again.
    Matthew 10:28

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