My world upside down and things I have learned.

[lowprone]

Neither do I !

[ABNAK]

My condolences. Hope you find peace of mind and heart.

Something you said makes me shudder at the thought and cold truth of it: "Your dreams for the future can be gone in a blink."

[Delta_Elite]

Prayers for you and your Girls. Hang in there.

[jsbhike]

Thanks for sharing- and how awesome are you that you first instinct is to pass along info that might help others.

Sounds like his wife had similar traits based on so many at the funeral.

Very sorry for your loss Daniel.

[Buckaroo]

Deeply sorry for your loss my friend.
It sounds like you have a couple of wonderful daughters to help live out her legacy.
I cannot imagine walking in your shoes but I do know that there are others who have and I encourage you and your daughters to reach out to those who understand.
Prayers for you all and blessings as you continue to live lives that honor your wife's memory!

[Adrenaline_6]

Sorry brother. I feel for you. I know. Yes, it's hard. I lost mine to cancer a year ago this Thursday. My loss wasn't as sudden as yours of course.

All you can do is heal and be there for your daughters to help them heal. Be strong brother.

[JiminAZ]

So sorry for your loss.

Resources are available. Check out Griefshare.org. Very helpful to know more about the process you are going through and to go through it with others who have lost loved ones.

[glocktogo]

Daniel,

Please accept my sincerest condolences on the loss of your wife. Your family will be in my prayers. Take care of your girls and everything else will sort itself out as best they can.

[RobertTheTexan]

I can't imagine losing my better half and though I don't know you, I am deeply sorry to hear about your loss. One thing I learned after the loss of my mom when I was 13, and that was to leave nothing unsaid. I've tried to adopt that mindset, and it might sound good and wise and all that, but living it out ain't been easy. So as I've gotten older and MAYBE a little wiser, I still believe that sentiment, but I attach some caveats to it. I think in your case and in anyone else who suffers the loss of someone here one night, day, hour, minute, and gone the next is we will always wish we had said certain things, more of this, or did more of that. It's hard not to. I pretty much went full retard with that sentiment and I wouldn't let me wife go to bed until we hashed out whatever we were arguing out. Usually it ended up being something I said, didn't say, did, or didn't do. Don't get me wrong, I firmly believe I have the lowest maintenance bride on the planet, but she lets thing go until the the pressure cooker exceeds it's established safety parameters, and then boom. Big Boom. Anyway I digress, I learned that "leaving nothing unsaid" doesn't mean I can wear her out arguing all night. :-) Anyway, I can relate to your loss in my own way, and I hope that you can do your best to keep your family close and tight to you. That you are able to step out of your own pain, as hard as that is, and see their pain and see them. I have a story about that, but not for here. It sounds like you've got some solid folks around you and I hope you keep them in mind as you take each day on.

[agr1279]

Update

Next Wednesday 5 months will have passed. I figured I'd give you an update on what has been going on.

Work has still been working with me when it comes to my children and actually being genuine when asking about them.

Insurance companies for the most part are assholes. One was very easy, but it was from her father who is a Mason and got her a policy a long time ago through them. They were the easiest of all. One, tried telling me PO Boxes are not used for mail when I was trying to find out why they had not accepted the claim when I was looking on tracking. They eventually paid but damnit don't lie to me. That one took several phone calls and being a pain in the ass. The funny thing is they keep sending me a survey request and I keep deleting it. The third one was okay and did what they were supposed to.

The worst thing is I am now a single dad and it hit me hard, now I'm responsible for everything. Christmas is not going to be the same around the house. Like most households my wife purchased the lion share of gifts. I wrapped them, put the tree up along with the outside stuff. I have no idea what to get the girls and have no idea where to begin. We are in a group of about 6 families who go camping in the mountains to see the leaves change and this year it's me and the girls. Again she wrote several list of what need to be taken and I loaded the camper, drove and set it up. She looked forward to this trip every year and was instrumental in its success. The last few days have been a bitch to get through but I have and will continue.

My oldest has taken up the slack in the kitchen and while her cooking skills have gone from great to outstanding it is taking up a lot of her time when at home. She has been shooting air rifle for one of the NJROTC and her scores have dropped. I believe it is from what she perceives she must do around the house and not working on her shooting.

The youngest one has been doing more around the house and is slowly stepping up to the plate but she still wants to be a 12 year old.

As for me I'm still pluggin along. Thankfully I have good friends who will lend an ear and listen when I need it. I still get scared when the girls are out later than they should be and while I'm glad Life 360 was not around when I was their age I use the hell out of it on some days.

On the one month anniversary of my wife's death I had to go work a death as a supervisor. The poor guy's wife had passed during the night and unfortunately I didn't have to fake anything when talking to him. Since I was still in training as a Sgt I had a senior Sgt riding with me. She did not realize the date and felt bad she didn't take care of this call.

I have bought a few suppressors and other items since that day. I have learned the hard way money doesn't buy happiness and really doesn't make miserly any easier. I did buy a whole house generator for the house. Since I live in good old FLA hurricanes are part of reality. When Idiala rolled though work had put me in the part of the county I live in. I swung by the house around 0900 and heard the generator running. It was worth every penny I paid and I knew the girls were fine.

I'm still amazed the number of people who don't have wills or any plans if something unexpected happens to them. Thankfully the promotion has helped financially since the budget took a hit.

Daniel