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Thread: A little Humor

  1. #1491
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoringGuy45 View Post
    (Note: Just a joke. Not a true story)

    I said to my boss the other day, "I need to leave early today, I'm going to be a father!"

    "Of course", he replied. "Take the afternoon off."

    When I returned to work the next day, my boss came to my desk. "Well, how'd it go? Is it a boy or a girl?"

    "I dunno", I said, "I'll tell you in nine months."
    Lol, that's pretty funny.

    Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk

  2. #1492
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    Barack Obama meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, “Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?”
    “Well,” says the Queen, “the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”
    Obama frowns, “But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?”
    The Queen takes a sip of tea. “Oh, that’s easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle.” The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. “Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?”
    Tony Blair walks into the room. “Yes, my Queen?”
    The Queen smiles. “Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?”
    Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, “That would be me.”
    “Yes! Very good,” says the Queen.
    Obama goes back home to ask Joe Biden, his vice president, the same question. “Joe. Answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister. Who is it?”
    “I’m not sure,” says Biden. “Let me get back to you on that one.” He goes to members of the Cabinet and asks every one, but none can give him an answer. He goes to the Supreme Court and asks all nine members and doesn’t get an answer. He goes to Congress and asks most of the members to no avail. Finally, he walks into the Colin Powell’s office and says, “Colin, see if you can answer this riddle: Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”
    Powell says, “It’s me!”
    “Are you sure?”
    “Yes.”
    Biden smiles, and says, “Thanks!” Then, he goes back to speak with Obama.
    “Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It’s Colin Powell.”
    Obama gets up, stomps over to Biden, and angrily yells into his face, “No, you idiot! It’s Tony Blair!”

  3. #1493
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    You know what I like best about most people?

    Their dogs.

  4. #1494
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    You know what I like best about most people?

    Their dogs.

  5. #1495
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    You know what I like best about most people?

    Their dogs.

  6. #1496
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    Experience is a cruel teacher, gives the exam first and then the lesson.

  7. #1497
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    You know what I like best about most people?

    Their dogs.

  8. #1498
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    Quote Originally Posted by daddyusmaximus View Post
    https://i.imgur.com/HjI7YhF.jpg
    I haven't been rick roll'd in so long.

    " Political tags — such as [...], communist, democrat, [...], fascist, liberal, conservative, [...] — are never basic criteria. The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire. The former are idealists acting from highest motives for the greatest good of the greatest number. The latter are surly curmudgeons, suspicious and lacking in altruism. But they are more comfortable neighbors than the other sort. "
    - Robert Heinlein -

  9. #1499
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    Experience is a cruel teacher, gives the exam first and then the lesson.

  10. #1500
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    Experience is a cruel teacher, gives the exam first and then the lesson.

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