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Thread: A little Humor

  1. #1721
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
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    Last edited by flenna; 04-09-20 at 18:37.
    Philippians 2:10-11

    To argue with a person who renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. ~ Thomas Paine

    “The greatest conspiracy theory is the notion that your government cares about you”- unknown.

  2. #1722
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
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    SeattHELL, Soviet Socialist S***hole of Washington
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    from a UPS driver...
    5 types of customers since the “rona”:

    1) Steve: he has been waiting for this moment his whole life. He has been drinking boilermakers since 10:00 am in his recliner and his AR is within arms reach. He has 6 months provisions in the basement and a bug out bag due west buried in the woods. Steve demands a handshake as I give him his package. He’s sizing me up as I deliver his ammo.
    Steve will survive this, and he will kill you if he needs to.

    2) Brad: He is standing at his window wearing skinny jeans and a Patagonia t-shirt. He is mad because there were no organic tomatoes at Whole Foods today. He points at the ground where he has taped a 6 ft no go zone line from his porch. I leave his case of Fuji water, organic granola bites, and his new “Bernie Bro” hat at the tape.
    Brad will not survive.
    Steve will probably eat him.

    3) Nancy: She has sprayed everything with Thieves oil. Bought all the Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, toilet paper, meat, and bread from the local grocery chain. She has quarantined her kids and sprays them with a mixture of thieves, lavender, & mint essential oils daily. She has posted every link known to man about “The Rona” on her social media. She will spray you if you break the 6 ft rule. I will leave her yet another case of toilet paper.
    She will last longer than Brad, but not Steve.

    4) Karen: She has called everybody and read them the latest news on “The Rona”. She asked for the manager at Food Lion, Walmart, Publix, McDonalds, Chi-Fil-A, and Vons all before noon demanding more toilet paper. Karen’s kids are currently faking “The Rona” to avoid her. I’m delivering “Hello kitchen” to her.
    Karen will not survive longer than Brad.

    5) Mary: Is sitting in the swing watching her kids have a water balloon fight in the front yard as she is on her fourth glass of wine. She went to the store and bought 2 cases of pop tarts, 6 boxes of cereal, 8 bags of pizza rolls, And a 6 roll pack of toilet paper. There is a playlist of Bob Marley, Pink Floyd, and Post Malone playing in the background. I’m bringing her second shipment of 15 bottles of wine in 3 days.
    Mary will survive and marry Steve.
    Together they will repopulate the earth.
    May God have mercy on us all.
    <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
    YOU IDIOTS! I WROTE 1984 AS A WARNING, NOT A HOW-TO MANUAL!--Orwell's ghost
    Psalms 109:8, 43:1
    LIFE MEMBER - NRA & SAF; FPC MEMBER Not employed or sponsored by any manufacturer, distributor or retailer.

  3. #1723
    Join Date
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    You know what I like best about most people?

    Their dogs.

  4. #1724
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    You know what I like best about most people?

    Their dogs.

  5. #1725
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    Northeast
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    https://www.facebook.com/RangerTheor...56896605232854



    Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk

  6. #1726
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    Northeast
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    Social distancing New England style

    Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk

  7. #1727
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
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    Kansas
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    Someone has a sense of humah.
    Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the President... - Theodore Roosevelt, Lincoln and Free Speech, Metropolitan Magazine, Volume 47, Number 6, May 1918.

    Every Communist must grasp the truth. Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun. Our principle is that the Party commands the gun, and the gun must never be allowed to command the Party Mao Zedong, 6 November, 1938 - speech to the Communist Patry of China's sixth Central Committee

  8. #1728
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Texas
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    A bit of advice for our friends at home.

    If someone reports a post, and a mod edits it, it's probably not the smartest idea to publicly call out that mod and restore the post to its original content.

    You pay the freight, you take delivery.

  9. #1729
    Join Date
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    North West Indiana
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    You know what I like best about most people?

    Their dogs.

  10. #1730
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    AZ
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    1 (100%)

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