A little Humor

[bkb0000]

what do you do when you see your ex-wife running around her front yard, screaming and bleeding?

[Gramps]

what do you do when you see your ex-wife running around her front yard, screaming and bleeding?

Honest: I didn't see ANYTHING!!!

[bkb0000]

what do you do when you see your ex-wife running around her front yard, screaming and bleeding?

keep shooting

[5pins]

what do you do when you see your ex-wife running around her front yard, screaming and bleeding?

Nothing, the new husband is taking care of it.

[TommyG]

Isn't it ironic that Barrack Obama signed the stimulus package sitting at the same desk where Bill Clinton had his package stimulated?

[thedog]

Why do doctors slap all newborn babies?

To knock the d$#@'s off of the dumb ones!

dog

[parishioner]

A guy walks into a bar with a frog on his head.

The barkeep asks, "Can I help you?"

He says, "Yeah, could you pull this guy out of my ass?"

[parishioner]

How pumpkin pie is made.


Happy Thanksgiving!

[DragonDoc]

The Delta Force Test


Delta Force had an opening for a new team member. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were three finalists: an Air Force Pararescue, an Army Ranger, and a Marine Force Recon.

For the final test, the Delta Force examiner took the Airman to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow orders, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find a man tied to a chair. Kill him!!!"

The Airman said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot a helpless unarmed man." The examiner said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Return to your unit."

The Soldier was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the Soldier came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill a helpless stranger tied to a chair." The examiner said, "You don't have what it takes. Return to your platoon."

Finally, it was the Marine's turn. He was given the same instructions, to kill the man tied to the chair. He took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the Marine. He wiped the sweat from his brow. "This damn gun is loaded with blanks," he said. "I had to untie him, and then beat him to death with the chair."

[DragonDoc]

You might be an Airborne Soldier if...

The first thing you do in the morning is put in a dip

Your favorite beer is someone else's

Your cologne smells suspiciously like bug juice

You think a spit shine means to spit on your boots and wipe them on the back of your pant legs

Your kids wear a high and tight and stand at parade rest

You tell the arresting officer that you have just been alerted and you were speeding to work

When you have dinner guests in between paydays, you try to pass off a ham slice as canned ham

You use your spotter scope to pull surveillance at the pool or the Pope AFB air show

You would rather smoke a private than a Marlboro

Your hide site is cleaner than your room

You set up concertina wire around your house to keep trick or treaters away

You spend your free time thinking of ways you would destroy things if you were a terrorist

You never enter a bar without an E&R plan

You consider a "Recon" walking around the bar looking for chicks

You order a beer from the waitress by hollering "Nurse give me an IV"

You consider a six pack a well balanced breakfast

You say "Hooah" whether you understand or not

You creatively acquire things you need

Every sport you play has the word combat as part of its name