A little Humor

[bkb0000]

That's how they do it in Alabama...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nda_OSWeyn8


Another for good measure but not in Alabama...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nnzw_...eature=related

holy freaken crap.. i guess they're catering to their target audiences

[Icculus]

That's how they do it in Alabama...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nda_OSWeyn8


Another for good measure but not in Alabama...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nnzw_...eature=related

I love the amateur sketch of the leprechaun

I'm also glad the guy in the camo shirt is going to get to the bottom of the situation--he looks Irish

[rat31465]

Just before the wedding, Hillary Clinton wanting to be portrayed as the perfect Mom takes Chelsea aside and ask's her.
"Have you had sex with Marc yet?"
Chelsea responds, "Not according to Dad"

[LMTRocks]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekomG...eature=related

[chadbag]

BUILDING PERMIT

I recently applied for a building permit for a new house.

It was going to be 100 ft tall and 400 ft wide with 9 turrets at various heights and windows all over the place and a loud outside entertainment sound system. It would have parking for 200 cars and I was going to paint it snot green with pink trim.

The City Council told me to go to hell.

So I sent in the application again; but this time I called it a Mosque.

Work starts on Monday...

[chadbag]

HIGHWAY TO HEAVEN

A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

God replied, 'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time.

Finally, he said, 'God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.'

God replied: "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

[chadbag]

**********
THE QUALIFICATIONS

In a Purdue University government class, they were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States . It was pretty simple; the candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.

However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president. The class was taking it all in and letting her rant, but everyone's jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating, "What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section..????"

Yep, these are the same 18-year-olds that just elected the new President of the United States .

Now we know why..... And don't forget, they walk among us!"

**********
WELFARE CHECK

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, ' Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.'

The social worker behind the counter said, ' Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2009 Mercedes CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive.. A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc. located above the garage will be designated for your sole use and the salary is $200,000 a year.'

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullsh*ttin' me!'

The social worker said, ' Yeah, well, you started it.'

**********

[Alex V]

**********
**********
WELFARE CHECK

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, ' Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.'

The social worker behind the counter said, ' Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2009 Mercedes CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive.. A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc. located above the garage will be designated for your sole use and the salary is $200,000 a year.'

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullsh*ttin' me!'

The social worker said, ' Yeah, well, you started it.'

**********

Now people in the office are looking at me funny because I started laughing out of nowhere... thank!

[parishioner]

NSFW

Its catchy...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAV0X...has_verified=1

[parishioner]

True story: A police officer walks into Subway today, his phone goes off and his ringtone is "F**K tha Police" by N.W.A.

I thought that was pretty good.