DUMBEST things overheard at the gun store.

[Moose-Knuckle]

Buddy of mine and some ladies (you think guns attract retards? Bring some ladies in short shorts to a gun shop...) were blasting today.

Sad but true. Every time I have taken a girlfriend or my wife to a range/gun show it's the same thing. It's like these Melvin's have never seen an attractive woman before.

Insert our hero from today. Dude walks up. He's probably 5'9 280lbs wearing baggy shorts and a black T-shirt walking arrogant as hell and tells me he teaches his "agency" that magazines should always be behind you in case you get hit you don't want the magazine getting damaged.

LOL, I'd have told him I'd rather the magazine "get damaged" than my torso.

I offered him a second go-around but he politely refused and walked back to his stall where he was shooting an RRA with the BUIS mounted directly above his ejection port.

Should have asked him what is username is on TOS.

[C-grunt]

LOL, I'd have told him I'd rather the magazine "get damaged" than my torso.

Thats hilarious. I didnt even think of that. I wonder if he puts his ceramic plates in the back so they too don't get damaged by incoming rounds.

[MountainRaven]

Thats hilarious. I didnt even think of that. I wonder if he puts his ceramic plates in the back so they too don't get damaged by incoming rounds.

It's very important - for purposes of morale - to be able to still be able to use your plates in the event that you're hit.

[Hootiewho]

While not in a gun shop, this guy definitely belongs in this thread. Listen to his instructions...



The suspense build up involved in that zoom was better than any roller coaster I have hitched a ride on!

[Firefly]

Oh what the hay, here's a few gems:

Late 90s/stupid early 2000s. The only thing on anyone's mind was how stem cells were evil and Bush 'stole' the election. So that was the zeitgeist. No 9/11. Anyways, I'm at a public indoor range and I'm just going to town with my Gen 1 Glock 17 and 2 brand spanking new 17 rounders. Being young and ammo being cheap I just topped them off and was killing the Charging Ivan target(you know the onr with like the Russian soldier with a bayonet. It's really a rifle target but whatever). Anyways I had just spent $180 on these two new mags. I didn't know or care, I just wanted full caps. Well this middle aged busybody is in the lane next to me and he keeps staring me down. I'm not going crazy or even double tapping. Just plugging away. He takes it upon himself to ask if I have high caps. I say yeah maybe what's it to you?

He huffs up and claims to be a reserve deputy and states if those are high caps that he'll have to confiscate them.
I then tell him that would be theft and that he can go somewhere warm and unpleasant. He then walks up to me and repeats himself. Glasses, mustache, beer gut trying to intimidate me. Anyhow I say I'm done here and I'm leaving and if he touches me, I'm going to lay him out. He follows me to the front check out the whole while demanding my name for threatening an 'officer' and I tell the manager. He tells the guy to leave and was warned about causing scenes. Apparently he would check car tags and what guns people had. Turns out he was like a crossing guard. He had a BTK vibe. Last I heard he got arrested for haunting kiddie parks. But that info is like 14 years old.

Another story, girl I was on again-off again with wanted to buy a gun. She was moving to another complex and it was unseemly. She brought me along just to help comparison shop and we were going out for lunch later. Anyway hambeast behind the counter is pushing the J Frame with the million pounds trigger and the pink Kel Tec. She was already a shooter but mostly skeet. She had her mind set on a USP compact 9mm. Dude was all "that's a complicated gun, you need something simple. And it's so expensive." She had money and rented it and it was just what she liked and was competent with.
I was all "Look man, she wants the USP. Just ring it up. She doesn't care about anything else." Guy begrudgingly did so and as she filled out paperwork he was all "Well maybe you should have brought someone else with you". She looks up from her form and says "I'm buying a gun. Not a car. I'm a big girl, you know. Save it for the bimbos"(exact words).


There are oodles more of guys claiming to be Blackwater mercenaries, SWAT cops, 75th Ranger Batt Rangers that are like a billion pounds (most real Rangers I seen look like the short skinny guys from the first Predator movie)Marine Drill 'Sergeants'(their words. Parris Island is like a whole state away), so forth and so on with bizarre conspiracy theories and kooky attitudes

The internet and trusted FFLs that treat you like you walked into Cheers are a godsend. Usually rap about new bands, wacky cat videos, and how that new load is working out. Much better than just the whole gun store schtick

[ca_fireman19]

This thread is out of control...and FYI Firefly, not everyone can maintin their rippling 6 pack for all eternity like you. I challenge you to call my friend Larry Vickers a liar about his distinguished career because he's overweight.

[Mr blasty]

This thread is out of control...and FYI Firefly, not everyone can maintin their rippling 6 pack for all eternity like you. I challenge you to call my friend Larry Vickers a liar about his distinguished career because he's overweight.

WTF is your problem? He didn't say anything remotely derogatory to people overweight.

Sent from my SM-G900T using Xparent BlueTapatalk 2

[BoringGuy45]

This thread is out of control...and FYI Firefly, not everyone can maintin their rippling 6 pack for all eternity like you. I challenge you to call my friend Larry Vickers a liar about his distinguished career because he's overweight.

I think his commentary about this guys appearance was simply that he was a slovenly looking wannabe cop who was acting like he was some elite law enforcer sent to protect the good fudds from the evil "high capacity" magazines plaguing the firing range. There's a big difference between simply not having rock hard abs worthy of gay porn and being a sloppy fat jackass. It sounds like this guy was the latter.

[ca_fireman19]

"There are oodles more of guys claiming to be Blackwater mercenaries, SWAT cops, 75th Ranger Batt Rangers that are like a billion pounds (most real Rangers I seen look like the short skinny guys from the first Predator movie)"

-Firefly

[Firefly]

This thread is out of control...and FYI Firefly, not everyone can maintin their rippling 6 pack for all eternity like you. I challenge you to call my friend Larry Vickers a liar about his distinguished career because he's overweight.

Umm...well 1st off I'm not so young anymore myself and have like a 2 pack these days.

You may need to readjust your sight picture. Let me help you dope your scope

The young, thin 20-29 year old who is wiry and looks like he runs 10 miles before God wakes up. If I see him wearing a Ranger flash shirt or fatigues then yeah he gets benefit of the doubt. Dude walking in running his mouth of same age but looks like Chris Farley? Nah.

Older guy who I get to know and conducts himself a certain way, and he says "oh yeah I was in the military/police or some such. He gets some benefit of the doubt. I doubt Larry Vickers haunts random gun stores and pulls a Cotton Hill routine trying to impress people. I'd think if you didn't know who he was he'd just say "Hi, I'm Larry. S'up Homes?". You'd sooner confuse him for an aging B-boy than a D-boy.

And if you just creep me out, then yes I'm going to not wish to speak to you. Not because of a pooch but because you're creeping me out.

I'm not ranking on guys with miles, people's mil/le careers, or even fat people so much as I cannot speak with as much invective as possible against wannabes, weirdoes, pervs, and people who probably try to take advantage of others' kindness or lack of knowledge.

Or maybe you were being sarcastic