"So have your buddy get a box of stray cats and try to get a good sight picture while he is throwing the cats at you... naked." - KLD
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From The Health Ranger:
"Step 1) Loudly proclaim your vaccines are backed by "science," but when critics ask you to produce that science, just tell them you don't have to because "everybody knows they work." (Then grunt and paw at the air from time to time for effect...)
Step 2) Practice scoffing. Scoffing is an important skill for swine flu vaccine zealots. When someone asks an intelligent question like, "Where are the placebo-controlled studies that show flu vaccines work at all?" simply scoff at them. This avoids having to answer the question because, as you know, there are no such studies.
Step 3) Practice making people feel guilty for not getting the flu shot. Blame them for pandemic. Just ignore the fact that the shot itself has zero ability to actually prevent the spread of influenza and focus on what works: Guilt!
Step 4) Spread more fear! Guilt and fear go together like peanut butter and jelly on processed white bread -- a favorite zombie food! In combination, they work like gangbusters if you're trying to scare up some vaccine sales to generate billions of dollars in profits for the drug companies. In the absence of any actual science, just invoke fear! (Hey, it worked for the Patriot Act, too...)
Step 5) Remind people that they are not doctors and therefore don't know anything. Then quote some doctor who's pro-vaccine (and probably taking kickbacks from some pharmaceutical company that's been caught committing a felony crime) and declare that no one can question them because they're a doctor. Doctors are God, didn't you know? Just ask all the victims of thalidomide... or Vioxx.
Step 6) Strip off the plastic coating on both ends of an extension cord, exposing the wires. Attach the two wires on one end to the temples of your skull, then attach the two exposed wires on the other end to the exposed slots of a live electrical outlet in your home. You are now "WIRED." (Want a free subscription?) This process will destroy any critical thinking regions of your cerebrum, disabling the annoying ability to think for yourself (which can interfere with what the vaccine industry wants you to think instead). Once achieved, you're half-way qualified to being a vaccine zealot, unhindered by critical thinking skills!
(Don't forget to grunt, moan and leave your mouth draping open from time to time, or the whole effect will be ruined...)
Step 7) Defend mercury as safe. It's not that bad, really. What's a little mercury in your shot anyway? Ignore these inconvenient facts: A typical flu vaccine shot solution is 50,000 parts per billion of mercury. The EPA classifies any substance with more than 200 parts per billion as hazardous waste. (The EPA limit in drinking water is 2 parts per billion.) Thus, the mercury density in a vaccine is 25,000% higher than the level required to be considered hazardous waste. This is injected directly into the bloodstream of infants, children, expectant mothers and senior citizens. What could possibly be dangerous about that?"
Nein! No shots for me or my ohana!
I treat everyone with respect. I stack them in my trunk neatly.
Keeping the "oath" since 1980.
Okay. Now we do it my way.
I really hope we don't lose some good people because they are blinded by some anti-corporate, anti-obama, anti-science video they saw on youtube. While the H1N1 is no airborne HIV, it has and is going to kill some special people. If you want to forgo the advantages of living in a sophisticated western society, have at. Hope your kids don't pay the price.
I just did two lines of powdered wig powder, cranked up some Lee Greenwood, and recited the BoR. - Outlander Systems
I'm a professional WAGer- WillBrink /// "Comey is a smarmy, self righteous mix of J. Edgar Hoover and a gay Lurch from the "Adams Family"." -Averageman
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Last edited by ZDL; 05-01-10 at 04:57.
The way vaccination works it's still quite possible to get the virus. The difference usually is whether it makes you really sick or just a few sniffles.
Concerns about the vaccine's safety are legitimate but when viewed by the totality of evidence and statistical probabilities you're far better off getting the vaccine.
The main problem is the availability of the vaccine not whether to get it or not.
I understand how some people may be jaded by history but it is a bona-fide health concern.
It is bad policy to fear the resentment of an enemy. -Ethan Allen