Severe ongoing pain? Maybe an issue for a doctor. Only when you shoot a .40? Grip issue all day long. I'm not going to sit here at a computer and pretend to be the pistol ninja, but I do have quite a bit of training with the pistol, and I've worked at a range for the past 7 years watching all kinds of people try to shoot all kinds of pistols in all kinds of different ways.
The thing about a .40 (and a .357 Sig for that matter) is that due to the high pressures, they tend to snap more at the muzzle, wheras a 45 (especially with a heavier frame like a 1911) tends to stay more on plane, so while the recoil is there on the 45, it's more of a push than a snap. The first thing about your grip that I would check is how high it is. The lower on the grip you are, the more torque the recoil will put your wrist through. You need to get your primary hand as high and tight on that grip as possible. Also, you mentioned your thumb hitting the slide stop. Unless you have gigantic thumbs, youve got your grip torqued pretty hard over (assuming right handed if primary thumb is on slide stop. The majority of the pressure on the pistol should come from the palms and heels of your hands, not your fingers and thumbs. Get high and tight and apply most of your pressure on the sides instead of front to back. Get as much meat to grip contact as you possibly can. This should stabilize the pistol in your hands, which will lead to improved control and accuracy.
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