Cancer Question

[PRGGodfather]

God bless you all. It's a tough road, but if you know what's coming and plan for it, it IS possible to disrupt even cancer's OODA Loop.

We wish you only the best.

[Buckaroo]

Very sorry to hear of your father's situation, my prayers for you and your family.

I have never faced cancer in my family so take these suggestion with a grain of salt. My experience comes from a dozen years serving as a pastor and walking with others through difficult times.

I would suggest that you talk with your father about the fact that you need his help at this time. You and your brother need him to help you to walk through this valley and if he leaves you alone to do so it will be all the more difficult and stressful for you.

Unfortunately, his privacy and desire to not burden you and others end up putting you in a very difficult situation where you can only sit and wait rather than actively fight this with him. His inaction will bear out to be rather selfish in the end if he goes alone on this.

This could create some of your greatest memories of your father and his strength and be a bonding time like none other.

Ask him for permission to fight this along side of him as you would in a battle to defend your family. He would not face a violent threat alone if you were there beside him, he would want you armed and shooting as well. Put it in man terms and maybe he will open up.

Buckaroo

[Oscar 319]

I'm sorry this has happened. This not good, and your father is going to need a lot of help over the next year. The 5-year survival rate for Stage IV kidney cancer is usually about 5% overall, but the actual number can vary according to variables you didn't mention. It's very important that you and your brother go with him to his doctor appointments from now on. You have to understand exactly what's going on, and how you'll be able to help him. Unfortunately there's nothing private about advanced cancer - he really isn't going to have that option anymore.

Good luck. I hope the three of you can come to grips, individually and as a family.

I am fairly certain that this is Stage IV. I will learn more in the following weeks.

Cancer is no stranger to our family. It seems to be indiscriminate about who it picks. I lost an uncle to Leukemia, another has his Colon Cancer in remission. My fater-in-law is in remission from Stage IV squamus cell cancer for 10 years. He actually has his own charity (Huntsman 140) for the Huntsman Cancer Institute. Funny thing is, all these guys never drank, smoked and are/where relatively healthy folks.

Now my Dad...He has smoked since he was 16, and continues to do so. No sympathy there. And he expects none. My dad could still kick my ass. The prospect of this hulk of a man deteriorating is frightening. If fighting is an option, he/we will fight.

Smuck- bless your family and your son. I hope the Leukemia stays away. I hate to see sick kids. I nearly lost my daughter and lived in a pediatric hospital for a month (thank God it was not cancer). There is no sadder place on earth.

Low Drag- keep fighting the fight Brother! We are all with you man.

mr_smiles- keep smiling and and best wishes to your mother!

I appreciate all the input and well wishes.

[Low Drag]

I am fairly certain that this is Stage IV. I will learn more in the following weeks.

Cancer is no stranger to our family. It seems to be indiscriminate about who it picks. I lost an uncle to Leukemia, another has his Colon Cancer in remission. My fater-in-law is in remission from Stage IV squamus cell cancer for 10 years. He actually has his own charity (Huntsman 140) for the Huntsman Cancer Institute. Funny thing is, all these guys never drank, smoked and are/where relatively healthy folks.

Now my Dad...He has smoked since he was 16, and continues to do so. No sympathy there. And he expects none. My dad could still kick my ass. The prospect of this hulk of a man deteriorating is frightening. If fighting is an option, he/we will fight.

Smuck- bless your family and your son. I hope the Leukemia stays away. I hate to see sick kids. I nearly lost my daughter and lived in a pediatric hospital for a month (thank God it was not cancer). There is no sadder place on earth.

Low Drag- keep fighting the fight Brother! We are all with you man.

mr_smiles- keep smiling and and best wishes to your mother!

I appreciate all the input and well wishes.

One thing you may want to try with your father. If he fights and keeps a good attitude he can motivate other people that are in a bad way. I know I have, it's to darn easy for people to go negative, just one person giving their illness the bird can help a lot of other folks, including the medical professionals you'll work with.

All the rest of you dealing with the crap, keep your chin up and push back every chance you get. All the best to you and your father Oscar.

[Smuckatelli]

One thing you may want to try with your father. If he fights and keeps a good attitude he can motivate other people that are in a bad way. I know I have, it's to darn easy for people to go negative, just one person giving their illness the bird can help a lot of other folks, including the medical professionals you'll work with.

All the rest of you dealing with the crap, keep your chin up and push back every chance you get. All the best to you and your father Oscar.

Good call....its like giving your dad a mission. Tomas kept a low profile on his cancer until he hit 1st grade. The LLS was doing a Pennies for Patients drive at his school. After the briefing he stood up and told his classmates that he was fighting leukemia. He was a different boy after that, a lot of you guys know about his light the night drives. When he felt that he could help find a one pill cure, it lit a fire in his heart.

[Oscar 319]

I am learning about this stuff as we go.

My Father has Advanced Renal Cell Carcinoma (RCC), in other words, advanced kidney cancer.

We will find out the bone and brain scan results next week. There are three good sized tumors confirmed in his lungs.

The medications for treatment will most likely be Sutent (10-12k/mo. ) and Afinitor.

We are looking at enrolling into some studies to offset some medical costs as well as to possibly try alternative medications. Side effects seem to be the biggest concern at this point.

His health and spirits remain high. We are very optimistic. We look foward to kicking this thing in the ass!

[mr_smiles]

Oscar,
look in to programs such as the senior prescription drug assistance program. It might be able to help offset some of the cost. They exist, and they're for people who actually need the help, such as those who can't afford $15k a month for pills.

[Oscar 319]

Wednesday we recieved wonderful news.

My father's brain and bones are free of cancer.

It is unknown how long he has carried the tumors in his lungs. He could have had them for 5 years, or developed them in the past few months.

The rate of spread will dictate the ammount of treatment he receives. At this time, he is not symptomatic and the meds will make him very ill.

Though it is still stage 4 cancer, this is very promising news.

This will buy us some time to enroll in a study to help with medication expenses.

We are, of course, already scheduled with another doctor for a second opinion.

Thank you everyone for your well wishes, prayers and advice (here and PM).

I will continue to post updates as they develop, as I know many here are affected by this terrible disease.

[Buckaroo]

Wednesday we received wonderful news.

My father's brain and bones are free of cancer.

Awesome!

[Smuckatelli]

My father's brain and bones are free of cancer.

Oscar, this is what Tomas and I've been praying for.

This will buy us some time to enroll in a study to help with medication expenses.

Not the right attitude in front of your father. You guys are enrolling in a study to try cutting edge technology....NO OTHER REASON.

The fiscal portion will work itself out.

From my 9 year old cancer warrior: If they feel that they are becoming a burdon, they will get depressed. It took me roughly 2 weeks to convince Tomas that the treatment wasn't taking away from the other members of the family. They do get the martyr mentality very quickly when they feel that they have become a burdon.

If it is fiscally taxing the family, look into setting up a tax deductable contribution fund. You would be surprised how many people will contribute.

Find an appropriate fund raising event for him, something physically demanding.