Facepalm worthy moments in CCW...

[smoky]

This isn't entirely CCW related, but nonetheless is relevant due to the mindset (I use this word rather loosely) that some people have in regards to firearms in general.

Since my GI bill can't cover my expenses by itself, I have a job in security. Not the greatest job, but it allows me to have a full time job I can work around school.

Working an armed post is great. All the armed guards are squared away, and good people to be around. But since all the positions in my area are filled, I act as a stand in when someone needs the time off and spend my time working at another site.

While most of the people at these other sites are decent (Mostly retired LEO's and college students), there is a fair share of the "can't be wannabe cop" and "I think I'm highspeed even though I could clearly not cut in the military" types. Most of these guys are harmless and good to have around for a good laugh now and again.

There is one kid we have working with us. He is 22 years old and still lives with his parents (And I wouldn't be surprised if he still sleeps in a race car bed). He pretty much epitomizes that kid who plays way too many video games and thinks it equates to real world training, but takes it a step further. He has said a few thinks since I have known him that even people with little to no experience in regards to firearms and CCW would find to be utter bullshit. Since I can't remember everything, here are some highlights of the things that are just too facepalm worthy for me to forget.

-Is ABSOLUTELY in love with his Glock 19. To the point I'm sure he has tried to fornicate with it.

-Told me that Glock no longer does business with the US. Since his Glock 19 says Austria on the slide, it is super rare and worth a lot of money.

-Thinks that the AR should only come 6.8 SPC and that 5.56 is useless. He has never shot an AR in 6.8.

-Told me when he was in Job Corps he took some tactical weapons course taught by some Blackwater Dude. Apparently he learned that you can effectively ricochet a 9mm off of a concrete barricade and this is an effective means of engaging a target behind cover.

-Claims to be qualified in pistol, rifle, shotgun, handcuffs, taser, and OC spray. Has no way of proving this.

-Has tried to convince me on several occasions there is a US Marshall where we live that carries two Desert Eagles as his duty weapons.

-Thinks an "FFL" is some license that allows you to buy machine guns (Has nothing to do with sale or manufacturing), and that in order to get one it costs $800 dollars, which he is saving up for. On top of that, he said our supervisor has one (I asked my supervisor, and he looked really confused).

-Has a "Go" bag he carries around with him everywhere. The "Go" bag is a shitty Condor day pack that was packed with a pair of jeans, a smelly Glock t-shirt, a pair of whitey-tighties, a cell phone charger, half a bottle of Mountain Dew, and a gun magazine (The kind you read). I only know this because he got really excited about it and did a bag dump for me.

-Told me he was having issues shooting, and from what it sounded like, he was anticipating the recoil. I suggested he try the ball and dummy drill at the range, and immediately proclaimed that he has already done that in "training" and doesn't need to do it again. I asked if he does any dryfire and he said no because they guy at Bass Pro told him not to.

-Says he wears a security badge "Off Duty"

[Inuvik]

This is not one of the worst by a long shot, but did give me cause for some thought....

I am sitting on the Ferris Wheel in the Scheels (big sporting goods store) in Sparks, NV with my three year old.

I am people watching like usual, and notice a fairly overweight gentleman who immediately warrants a closer look. He is wearing shorts and a tan button-up "tactical" shirt untucked as well as some sort of "patch hat."

The problem for him, is that he is on the upper story of the store near the fake mountain with animals on it. Everyone is looking up at it. It look me all of 30 seconds to see his OWB kydex holster peeking out the bottom of his shirt as he raised his right arm.

The guy stood out as a "gun guy" to the maximum extent he possibly could. It was so bad that I seriously contemplated (gently and respectfully) counselling him on how obvious he was to anyone who was even the slightest bit informed. In the end I chose to mind my own business.

It was a really good reminder of why I try to maintain the slightly yuppy look when out in public. Blend in.

[Salamander]

The story a couple of posts above about the security guy reminded me of something I hadn't thought about in decades. Maybe it was better forgotten....

In college a long time ago I took one criminology course. It was of course heavy on LE guys, in part because it was taught by a very knowledgeable Lt. from the Evanston IL PD. There were also a number of the wannabe types described above, guys who had tried and failed to get into just about every local suburban LE agency.

One night I ran into two of them at a party given by mutual friends. turned out they had until recently both been working security at a large local sporting goods store, where they mostly spent their days peering through peep holes in the back wall. They said they routinely carried concealed pistols on the job even though they were not licensed and their employer did not know.

One day they had apparently spotted a shoplifter and followed him out to the front of the store. In the entryway, between the inner and outer doors, they confronted the guy... Who immediately pulled a knife on them. One or both of the guys (can't remember for sure, this was a long time ago) pulled their guns, right in the entryway crowded with customers who fled in every direction. They had a prolonged standoff with the guy until the real cops arrived.

Needless to say, they didn't work there anymore after that. How they got away without being arrested I will never know.

After telling me the story one of the guys, who by now has downed several beers, pulls out his gun and hands it to me. At least he had good taste in guns, it was a Browning hi-power 9mm. It was empty, which was a good thing because before handing it to me he had pointed it at the apartments across the way.

I wonder what those guys are doing today... Somehow I doubt it's anything very profound. Hopefully they haven't hurt anyone in the intervening years.