I OFFICIALLY Live In The Wrong Damn State...

[SteyrAUG]

South Florida is very tropical, that means it's hot, it rains a lot and it never (least not since 77) freezes. And that means bugs don't DIE once a year, so they tend to get big.

Bad enough that we get cockroaches the size of skateboards but the giant ****ing spiders are getting to be a bit much.

I was walking my dogs standing in the MIDDLE of my back yard when I suddenly walked through spider web. WHAT THE ****? Exactly how is a spider web in the middle of my back yard. The closest object is my fence which is about 10 feet away.

Turns out some industrious, and big, spider has spun a web from the telephone lines (20 feet up and 10 feet back from my location) down into my grass about 5 feet on the other side of me. If you are now imagining a spider web of approx. 30 feet by 10 feet you are in fact CORRECT.

Jesus ****ing christ. Add to that a goddamn spider doing the "I'm dangling down to you" dance above my head once I got myself out of the damn web. Thankfully a handy four foot 1x1 was nearby so I could Babe Ruth the bastard into the cheap seats once he got down to eye level to see what he had caught in his giant ****ing web.

I swear to god one of these days I'm gonna go out there and see one of my dogs stuck in a goddam web.

New rule: Spider webs are NOT allowed to be bigger than garage doors, in fact I don't think they should be allowed to be bigger than front doors.

Be really nice if we got a good month of 23 degree weather and snow this winter. I would love it. Cause I'm hating the super bugs that the tropics are capable of producing.

I have to go take a shower now and burn my clothes just to be sure.

[GIJew766]

Try being allergic to them and spending a good bit of time outside. I haven't been bitten since I was about 9 back in South Carolina, but that trip to the hospital taught me that I ****ing hate the bastards.

I've eaten a few during wilderness survival training, and it seems so long as I don't get bitten, I don't go all anaphylactic and die...

But trust me, I know all about how bad it is down south. Some of those wall crawlers back in SC still give me the shivers. Big nasty ****ers. Damn you, now I'm checking everywhere to make sure they ain't in my place.


H

[CLHC]

Growing up in Hawaii, we got them there Cane Spiders and Garden Spiders which I cannot stand, and that's just naming the "bumboocha" ones!

[montanadave]

Did you destroy the egg sack, Steyr?

Steyr?

STEYR!



Sure, waking up to twenty below temps can be a drag but, then again, we ain't got no Creature Feature sized bugs runnin' round neither.

[ICANHITHIMMAN]

Dang that reminds me of the time I took a tour of this water reclamation plant out side El Passo. They were comming down from the cellings in the dozens right on top of us as big as silver dollers. We were all on this walk way over the holding tanks and there was no were to go. We could see the real big ones that had drowned in the tanks on the bottom. It was like a sceen from an Indiana Jones movie.

[Belmont31R]

No matter where you go those bastards are everywhere. My in laws live in WA state, and they used to get huge webs right across the walkway to the front door. If theres one thing I hate its walking into a spider web.



Found this thing with a bunch of babies in my back yard...

[theblackknight]

Math is fun!

+
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[HAMMERDROP]

SteyrAUG
Reporting from Lake Worth ... I too was walking my dog and saw in some neighboring hedges a large intricate spider web that looked like a fire fight happened on it. It had no resident that I saw, but there was a dead sucked dry mummified 'curlytail' lizard in the web !!
The lizard was about 4" + in length and its body was about 1/2 an inch wide.
It might have been a 'Zipper' spider, which could possess the skills to catch a friggin' lizard ?
I would prefer the spiders eat the roaches and the lizards eat the spiders.
But you are right they get big and keep growing.
If we could just get them to drink the tap water Florida's insects would become extinct.

Michael

[Kchen986]

Hah, reminds me of the time I was driving out of the University of Florida. From my car (about 30 feet away), I saw a palm sized spider had made a huge web covering a rarely used doorway. I had to do a double take.

Down in S. Florida, I often walk in to spider webs. Those buggers are always rappelling down from the palm trees near my mailbox. Half the time, I have to do the 'shit-get-off-me-and-your-web-too' dance.

[kwelz]

I am ****ing terrified of spiders.
There is no rational reason behind it but the little bastards just hit some primal area in my brain.

A couple of years ago I was helping a friend at his new house. We were clearing out some old trees and stumps in his back yard. Kicked one big stump over and out came spiders. I don't mean a few. I mean a ****ing moving carpet about 5'x5'. Ever heard a grown man scream like a 10 year old girl?

Lets just say that ended with Gasoline and a road flare.