Page 49 of 231 FirstFirst ... 3947484950515999149 ... LastLast
Results 481 to 490 of 2307

Thread: A little Humor

  1. #481
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Fauquier County, VA
    Posts
    293
    Feedback Score
    41 (100%)
    Quote Originally Posted by JSantoro View Post
    HE'S REAL!!!



    If the trend remains true, we also know what his girlfriend's name is.....
    Photo by CPL. Beltbuckle

  2. #482
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    6,100
    Feedback Score
    1 (100%)

    Is it OK to mix religion and football?

    Tom Brady, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Patriots flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity Tom, said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here." Tom felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house.

    On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a huge 3-story mansion with Orange and Blue sidewalks and drive ways, a 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Broncos logo flag waving, a swimming pool in shape of a horse, a Broncos logo in every window, and a Tim Tebow jersey on the front door.

    Tom looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I won 3 Super Bowls, and I even went to the Hall of Fame."

    God said "So what's your point Tom?"

    "Well, why does Tim Tebow get a better house than me?"

    God chuckled, and said "Tom, that's not Tim's house, it's mine.

  3. #483
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,584
    Feedback Score
    1 (100%)
    So, this guy goes in for a vasectomy. His coworkers were commenting on how irritable he was from the surgery. I said "What'd you expect? I knew he'd be going off on everyone half-cocked."
    Time flies when you throw your watch.

  4. #484
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    8,848
    Feedback Score
    7 (100%)
    TIMMY WRITES A CHRISTMAS LETTER

    Dear Santa,

    How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for
    Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.

    Merry Christmas,
    Timmy Jones

    Dear Timmy,

    Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.

    Merry Christmas,
    Santa Claus

    Mr. Claus,

    Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. nice" contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?

    Respectfully,
    Tim Jones


    Mr. Jones,

    While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney's have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only
    improve your health, but also improve you social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.

    Very Truly Yours,
    S Claus

    Now look here Fat Man,

    I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!

    T-Bone


    Listen Pizza Face,

    Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny g-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your sh*t wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're
    not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in you're a** and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.

    S Clizzy

    Dear Santa,

    Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.

    Timmy

    Timmy,

    That's what I thought you little bastard.

    Santa
    • formerly known as "eguns-com"
    • M4Carbine required notice/disclaimer: I run eguns.com
    •eguns.com has not been actively promoted in a long time though I still do Dillon special
    orders, etc. and I have random left over inventory.
    •"eguns.com" domain name for sale (not the webstore). Serious enquiries only.

  5. #485
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    6,100
    Feedback Score
    1 (100%)
    Don't **** with the Claus!



    P.S. He brought me a chain saw!

  6. #486
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    San Antonio, TX
    Posts
    1,029
    Feedback Score
    0

    Cool Deployment Princess




    Oh how we suffer for the cause.

    Doc Williams
    U.S. Army Combat Medic/Flight Medic Retired
    1987 - 2013
    Flight Medic Class 4-95

    http://www.dustoff.org/

  7. #487
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    San Antonio, TX
    Posts
    1,029
    Feedback Score
    0

    Wink



    Go ahead and admit it. You have done this at least once.

    Doc Williams
    U.S. Army Combat Medic/Flight Medic Retired
    1987 - 2013
    Flight Medic Class 4-95

    http://www.dustoff.org/

  8. #488
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    5,286
    Feedback Score
    5 (100%)
    Quote Originally Posted by DragonDoc View Post



    Oh how we suffer for the cause.
    Man, this really struck me as funny!

  9. #489
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    MidTN
    Posts
    344
    Feedback Score
    3 (100%)
    Quote Originally Posted by K.L. Davis View Post
    That is awesome.

  10. #490
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    8,848
    Feedback Score
    7 (100%)
    52 Reasons Florida is Still the Craziest State


    http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/52-ex...the-craziest-s



    ---
    • formerly known as "eguns-com"
    • M4Carbine required notice/disclaimer: I run eguns.com
    •eguns.com has not been actively promoted in a long time though I still do Dillon special
    orders, etc. and I have random left over inventory.
    •"eguns.com" domain name for sale (not the webstore). Serious enquiries only.

Page 49 of 231 FirstFirst ... 3947484950515999149 ... LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •